Well boys and girls, Hendry the Clown means what he says! Today all of the non-tendered Cubs were offered contracts, which means that arbitration-eligible players such as Jerry Hairston, Jr., Juan Pierre, Will Ohman, Carlos Zambrano and Mark Prior will be eligible for arbitration. It also means that the Cubs are on the hook for $2.2-4.0 million for the services of Corey Patterson.

It’s going to be next to impossible to unload Patterson because no GM in their right mind would pay that kind of money for a guy that hits .215 and ignores his management. Anticipate the following scenario, because it’s going to happen: “It’s the bottom of the ninth, Cubs are down by a run. Men on first and third, two outs, the other team goes to the pen for a righthanded reliever. Now Dusty Baker is calling back the righthanded batter and going to Corey Patterson for a lefthanded bat!”

George Goebels must have been thinking about Cubs fans when he said: “Did you ever get the feeling that the whole world is a tuxedo and you’re a pair of brown shoes?”

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