Ladies and gentleman, our new hitting coach, Carlos Zambrano:

”My back has been bothering me, so I didn’t want to swing too hard,” said Zambrano, who has four career home runs and is hitting .259 this season. ”If I swung like I wanted to hit a home run, I would have made an out.”
WHY can’t Patterson understand that?
Carlos vs. Corey head-to-head: Who’s got the most potential as a hitter?
| Name | PA | OBP | SLG | OPS | K/PA | RBI/PA | AGE | SMART STATEMENTS |
| Patterson | 370 | .271 | .383 | .655 | .243 | .076 | 26 | 0 |
| Zambrano | 58 | .259 | .414 | .672 | .328 | .086 | 24 | 1 |
| EDGE | CP | CP | Z | Z | CP | Z | Z | Z |
4-3 Zambrano! Plus, he can pitch a little.
I’m not actually suggesting that Z become the hitting coach, nor that he take over for Patterson in CF. What I am saying is that Patterson has been HISTORICALLY awful this year and Z is a frickin’ HERO.
I noticed also that Lawton has gotten off to a slow start with us (.602 OPS) and that Nomar’s abysmal start has put him as a worse hitter this year (so far) than Neifi. That speaks volumes about data sample; another reason to take the table above as tongue-in-cheek and the reason PA (plate appearances) are included.

