As we await news of Nomar Garciaparra’s MRI (which the Cubs get at 25 % off because of their inclusion in the “Frequent Scanner” club) a little move was made that at the time seemed kind of funny but, in that Rey Ordonez kind of way, now comes to the forefront and portends great sorrow. The Cubs signed Neifi Perez a few days ago. Right about the time Nomar started ridin’ the pines.

Feast on these stats and tell me that, if they could, the Cubs would not joyfully clone Rey Ordonez 24 times and fill the whole roster with him.

Now, IF this MRI turns out bad, and IF Neifi Perez ends up Ordonezing for the Cubs, THEN I will make lots of hating sounds.

They say that when you shoot yourself and die, that you lose control of your bowels. If the ivy at Wrigley Field turns brown early, you will know why.

UPDATE:

1) Okay, I admit it. Maybe Barrett’s not turning into a pumpkin.

2) It turns out, a la Prior, that it’s Nomar’s wrist, not his achilles tendon, that is the real problem. And since he played today, maybe he won’t go on the DL after all. Cross your fingers and hang on to those valuable Neifi Perez rookie cards.

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