View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003

Thursday

14

September 2017

86

COMMENTS

GirlieView (09/14/2017)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’ers: Those with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2017 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Schwarber has become a mystery to me. I like him, but can’t figure out what’s going on with him or what to do with him. I think he belongs in the American League.
  • The American Legion? That’s pretty dramatic.
  • Actually, an American Legion TEAM could use Schwarber, but I think the age limit is 19….
  • Schwarber’s 2 garbage time home runs were just that. Didn’t stop Len and JD from falling all over themselves talking about the beautiful swing and amazing power. Horrible corporate line. The guy was completely lost the 3 prior at bats, and they can’t say squat about that. Who do they think they are fooling? Maybe Joe’s Ipad watches CSN.
  • Quality AB’s in garbage time are nice but there will not be much garbage time in the playoffs.
  • I guess my name in a Lizzie kinda counts right?
  • I’d like to see less Jekyll & Hyde.
  • I’m dating myself, but they remind me more of Heckle and Jeckle
  • Just before I asked how the relationship was going, I clued in
  • I just saw tonight’s line up, and with the exception of Penne Rivera (yes, CAPS, it’s a pasta joke) it looks like we could have made out that line up card! I’m not sure, but I think Joe Maddon is scared of Karen Hirsch.
  • I’m scared of Karen Hirsch.
  • Who isn’t? We’d all be on a bus out of town.
  • Lizzie- we need a magic number for Sherm. How many Lizzie’s back am I from Sherm? Do I have a chance of catching him or am I mathematically eliminated. Donna called and wants to know.
  • Save your breath. You’re never going to catch him this late in the season.
  • That Sherm fellow must be using the steroids or something. He can’t possibly be THAT much more cleverer than my son, the Doctor. Well, you know what I mean. Kinda doctor. Sign my petition. Test Sherm.
  • I’m thinking there is an inadvertent East coast bias here. By the time I read most of the comments I would like to answer with funny stuff, someone that sees the sun before I do has already done so.
  • If it was important enough to you, you would get up before everyone and get the Lizzie’s. Sounds to me like a priority issue. Hmm… let’s see … do I get my rest so I can save that guys life tomorrow or do I impress those VFTB doofuses with my uncommon wit? Seems like an obvious choice to me.
  • I’ll say this – if they’ve waited until now to kick it into gear…but start playing great? I can live with that.
  • I saw yesterday that the coaching staff had the team out early – for the second day in a row – to work on basic infield fundamentals, and baserunning strategy. Obviously, they read this blog.
  • I noticed last year that Hendricks always got the “B-team lineup,” and Maddon would rest normal starters. The irony is that this year the B-team is a lot better than the so called “A-team.”
  • Hendricks is looking like the Cy Young pitcher he was last year, this is great timing.
  • There’s no way Lackey should be anywhere near a playoff rotation this year.
  • He seems like a hot pot, ready to boil over.
  • That’s the trouble with him – you never know who’s gonna show up on game day.
  • Hard to say don’t pitch him in an important game just because he’s a prick, or unattractive.
  • I’ll get you up to speed: New Dad, New Job, New House! Now that we have caught up, let’s talk Cubbies!
  • I pulled something in my arm reaching for the 10th beer in that 0-12 drubbing.
  • Do we have a bullpen guy you can really count on that doesn’t walk the first batter of the inning every time out?
  • its going to be impossible to look away this month, whatever happens. It may be painful. It may be joyful. But it is a great time to be a Cubs fan.
  • Overall, the theme of the year has been Consistently Inconsistent. For a time they’ll look like a juggernaut that could beat all comers…and then out of the blue, they turn into a 5-and-under tee-ball team without a tee and no idea what to do. Sometimes for an inning, sometimes for a game, sometimes for a whole week.
  • I think Arietta is struggling with age more than fatigue. His career numbers are not what 2015 and 16 were. Heyward is just not a good hitter. Average at best, way below average when he’s not at his best. Russell is hurt. Lester and Lackey are aging. Rondon and Strop have lost whatever they had. The guys that should be playing aren’t playing and the ones that shouldn’t be are, so we don’t know what the team could be doing. I don’t agree with the fatigue idea. I’d say it’s mostly young players not realizing what it takes to be competitive day in and day out. Too much goofing off – not enough work.
  • I recommend the Pirates Radio feed tonight. They are talking about ROberto Clemente becuase it is Roberto Clemente day. Roberto Clemente stories are much more interesting than anything Len has ever talked about.
  • Despite just winning a World Series (people forget that), there is still that ominous feeling surrounding this team. I know all my doubts were supposed to be lifted with the trophy over Theo’s head, but that Cub fan feeling hangs over this season just a little more than I expected it would.
  • Today, I am going to concede that Kyle Schwarber will not hit 83 home runs in the 2017 season.
  • This has become a very complainy website it is getting kind of annoying to me, but like many bad habits I can’t seem to give it up.
  • Does your spreadsheet complain? Is your spreadsheet happy? I think that is the most important thing.
  • Well…this was not the best week.
  • I tried really hard to stay optimistic this weekend, as Dork prescribed, but I think the Brewers beat the optimism out of me.
  • OK, I’m officially nervous.
  • We have 4 more games verse the Brewers and we have 7 more games verse the Cardinals and we scored a total of 2 runs in 3 games verse the Brewers. What’s to be nervous about?
  • The Magic Number does not mean anything until it is down to one digit, and only one digit 0. Until then you need to win every game you play.
  • Which then brings us to the real question; is zero a number, or simply a concept that represents the absence of numbers?
  • Great question. Let’s use an example. If i have 0 beers, then I am in the absence of beers. And that’s just unacceptable. I accept your hypothesis.
  • Ah….great point…..but let me propose this: I have an infinite amount of beers therefore I have zero need for beer ever again. Highly acceptable…….
  • Magic number 17 with 18 to play. That doesn’t feel very magical to me.

Lizard

  • This team has the talent to make a special run. The question is: Do they have it in them?

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Ben and Momma Raker for their first 2017 In-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Doc Raker and (tied) Eddie von White and Sherm, our Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time around! Thank you all for everything you contribute here!

Top 10 of the 2017 Season

(one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Doc Raker
3. cap’n realist
4. Eddie von White
5. Doug S.
6. jswanson
7. Michael Stevens
8. Adam Peters
9. Jerry in Wisconsin
9. Seymour

Chit Chat

  • I’ll use Jeff’s inquisitive Lizard as the basis of our chat this week. “This team has the talent to make a special run. The question is: Do they have it in them?” I am a glass-half-full kind of gal. Maybe even 3/4 full. I’ve been told it’s nauseating at times. But (sorry Dork) I do not feel they have it in them despite their extraordinary potential. Last week, I briefly felt they were clicking, certainly less frustrating to watch. They quickly negated that, and I now feel they will be moving into their winter homes on October 2. I truly hope they negate this too! What say you?
  • Bryzzo1744

    I still think we make it to October and get bounced in the NLDS

  • Brad Lyerla

    I think we win the popular vote, but lose in the electoral college.

    However, I also think that Mindy is voted most popular. So, it’s ok.

  • Doug S.

    Do they have it in them? Yes. Will that be visible on the field? No idea.

  • Doug S.

    Jen-Ho Tseng is starting for us tonight. 2017 Minor League Pitcher of the Year Award from the Chicago Cubs organization.

  • Michael S.

    Cubs have too many games left against their closest competition; even with a slim lead, I don’t think they do badly enough against St Louis and Milwaukee to cough up the division. Add to that the Brewers and Cards playing against each other the final 3 days of the season, if it’s still close those two beating up on each other should just be help for us.

    That said, I don’t see a deep postseason run happening. Washington already clinched and are going to back in to the postseason, while the Cubs scramble to wrap things up with enough time to set their rotation for the LDS. It’s a little too late to fix the bullpen, there still isn’t a lineup that works consistently getting put out there, and there’s still question about who should be starting the games on the mound anyway.

    Side note, hasn’t really come up much lately but at some points during the season where the NL Central was being remarked as a weak division. But look at the NL East – everyone over there but the Nats is gonna finish under .500. Despite that, they’re not even gonna end up close to LA for best record in the NL–even though almost half their games in the year were played against garbage teams. THAT is a weak division.

  • cap’n realist

    While i agree with Jeff, that the team has the talent, I believe that they will be unable to overcome Joe’s ipad’s poor managing and the despicable lack of coaching and learning. To see such a young and talented bunch regress like this is horrifying to me. Even the slightest of improvements and this team runs away with the division and is the favorite to go back to back. As it stands now, that’s a long shot. Not impossible, but not really likely.

  • cap’n realist

    it bears mentioning that the top 3 in Lizzie’s, and 4 of the top 6 have a text chain during most games whose material far exceeds what ends up here. Mostly due to the R rating that the text chain exists in. Sherm, if you can believe it, is even funnier when the censors are keeping him down.

    • Eddie Von White

      Maybe Doug S. and I should start our own text chain. Can two people be a chain? I feel in my gut the Cubs will go all the way, but then my brain tells me otherwise.

      • Seymour Butts

        I think 2 being a chain is possible. Check the Kama Sutra.

      • Jerry in Wisconsin

        That sounds a little kinky, but chains often are.

      • cap’n realist

        last night’s topics included Sherm’s Chinese meals, my ridiculous income tax bill, bad managing, Manny Ramirez, the Indians, bad managing, squaws, Ron Darling, bad managing, mullets, Avila’s lack of manual dexterity, bad Met baserunning, and finally, bad managing. Funny stuff.

      • Bryzzo1744

        Lots of worms and sticks and leaves in Sherm’s Chinese meals?

      • cap’n realist

        Crickets. Like when Seymour tries to be funny.

      • Sherm

        2 is not a chain. 2 is a link.

      • Doug S.

        We can form the alternate chain, but need more than 2 so that we’re not seen as the kama sutra twins.

      • I’m in.

      • Doug S.

        Excellent, we need a whiz kid geek to set this up.

      • Doug S.

        Good thing it’s not set up now or there’d be plenty of colorful language with this start.

      • You see, herein lies the problem with my participation. Has nothing to do with foul language, I swear like a sailor. My problem is the game isn’t even an hour old and I’m already dozing off. Mark me down for swear-filled day games.

      • Eddie Von White

        I think all we have to do is email our phone numbers to Lizzie and then start a group text – unless Dork has a better idea. Or we could post our phone numbers on this blog like Brad does and the whole world would be our playground. But my problem is Lizzie’s problem. I start dozing off about the second inning.

      • cap’n realist

        You DO NOT want Caps to have your number. You will get 3,453 texts before Sunday.

      • Herein lies my reluctance to participate in the fun. Big Toe Joe uses this as an incentive to keep me in line. “Watch it or I’ll give Caps your number.”

      • Doug S.

        More effective than a Keyser Soze threat.

      • Sherm

        “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” — Verbal Kint

      • Doug S.

        So many classic quotes – great movie!!

    • Doc Raker

      Seymour was in on it and then complained his phone was beeping to much during some life saving procedure. My phone has a mute button for my ringer, Seymour must not have one of those since you would figure someone as smart as Seymour would know how to use the mute button. So we muted Seymour which is pretty enjoyable all in itself.

      • Eddie Von White

        I suppose when your phone goes off during a life saving procedure you get startled and someone gets a Sharpie in the eye.

      • Sherm

        Another Kama Sutra position.

        Probably.

      • Seymour Butts

        Works for me. I did enjoy the banter, but do not have the option of turning off the phone. When it blurts, I have to check it on the chance it is not one of you jizz nozzles piping off.

      • Sherm

        You are a successful Doctor. Get TWO phones. One for life saving stuff and one for jizz nozzles. It’s not rocket surgery.

      • Bryzzo1744

        He’s in the mold of my dad. Cheap. We didn’t have internet at home for many years, and then when he finally got it, he decided to get dial up. With one phone line. And my brother was a computer hog, people would try to call the home, and the phone would always be busy. What kind of a genius decides to get dial up internet with one phone line? I had moved schools that summer, and called the new swim coach. When I met him, he goes I tried your house every day for 3 weeks and the line was busy every single time. A year later, my dad finally decided to move into the 21st century and get broadband.

      • Seymour Butts

        Call your father… he misses you.

      • cap’n realist

        how was the Alfalfa crop this year?

      • Doc Raker

        It’s busy everytime he calls

      • Doc Raker

        Seymour? Cheap? You are talking about a guy who bitches if he has to eat at any place that is more expensive than Subway

  • Doc Raker

    The Nationals have Dusty Baker so that rules them out. The Dojers have fell back to earth and have stunk it up recently. The Rockies and Dbacks are the scariest teams right now and would win the NL Central if they were in it. Can the Cubs beat the Rockies or DBacks? Probably not.Can the Cubs beat the Cardinals and Brewers down the stretch with a 3 game head start? It will be a shit show to the end, stay tuned.

  • Doug S.

    I’ll admit, I was cursing the starting pitcher-catcher choices early in the game. Looked like we were not trying to win. Very happy the result proved me wrong, but still somewhat baffled at those starting decisions.

    • Kyle

      I had the exact same thought. Was like “Guess they’re just throwing this game away in the middle of a tight pennant race.” Was pleasantly surprised.

      • Eddie Von White

        Me too. I flummoxed.

      • Sherm

        I read that he did it (and you are all right – this is a pennant race and there’s NO good reason for it) to “save” Montgomery for another start. But then Montgomery pitches ANYWAY, so…

  • Buddy

    They absolutely can make a run in the playoffs (if they get there of course), but that really isn’t saying much. Any decent major league team can set the world on fire for two or three weeks.

  • Doc Raker

    6,4,2 or 0, what will it be after the Cardinal series.

    • Jerry in Wisconsin

      I give it a 4 game lead on the Cardinals, and 3 over the Brewers. The Brewers will have essentially a three game home series against what is now a bad Marlins team. If we are lucky the Brewers will continue their trend towards playing down to their competition, and find a way to lose one.

      • Doc Raker

        The Marlins are 1-9 in their last 10. I have to believe they are preoccupied with hurricane issues and not very focused on baseball right now. It reminds me of Carlos Zambrano’s no hitter against the Houston Astro’s when the Cubs Astro’s series was moved to Milwaukee during a hurricane and all the Astro hitters looked liked they hadn’t slept in 3 days and Zambrano took advantage of them. The Brewers get 3 extra home games against a team that isn’t ready to play baseball.

      • Karma’s a bitch, perhaps the Cubs should have played their Friday afternoon game v. Brewers as scheduled. It couldn’t have been any worse of a weekend than it already was. If the Cubs can re-schedule because of a late flight surely the Marlins deserve the courtesy of a hurricane change of venue.

      • Jerry in Wisconsin

        It is also possible that on that Friday during the day the wind was not blowing in as hard as it was that night, and then many of those fly balls hit against the Brewers would have been Home Runs instead of outs. I believe that we have too many September and April night games, day games are better when the weather starts getting cold.

      • Michael S.

        Change of venue, sure…no problem with that at all. But there were 13 other unused MLB venues that were NOT Miller Park; what was wrong with one of those?

      • I probably didn’t make myself clear. (Typical.) My point isn’t about “why didn’t MLB do it differently”. I don’t claim to know why they make the decisions they do. My point is that the Cubs have no right to be miffed about the Brewers getting an advantage when they were all up in arms about the Brewers being miffed when the Cubs negotiated their own “advantage.” Which as we know wasn’t an advantage at all. Play better baseball and then it makes no difference what the Brewers or the Marlins or anyone else does.

      • Jerry in Wisconsin

        Amen! Sweep the Cardinals, Rays, and Brewers, and then when they are in St. Louis they can clinch the Division. Then everybody will care be happy, until the playoffs.

      • Bryzzo1744

        Exactly! The Brewers have nothing to bitch about with that game. They won it.

      • Once again, not my point. The Brewers had every right to complain about that. I would have also. But the Cubs seemed be annoyed that the Brewers complained. You can’t be all self-righteous when someone else is miffed and then also be miffed yourself when the shoe is on the other foot. You can’t have it both ways.

      • Bryzzo1744

        Selig used to own them.

      • Doc Raker

        True, I am not saying MLB is handling this improperly, it is reasonable to change venues due to the hurricane I am just stating the facts.

        The ‘no rain’ rain out was BS, bad karma.

    • Kyle

      I bet they lose 2 of 3 since the Cards actually have good pitching. And they apparently poo the bed against division rivals when it counts.

  • Brad Lyerla

    What does Albert Almora, Jr. have to do to get some starts?

    • Bryzzo1744

      A $184M contract

    • Sherm

      It’s incredibly frustrating. Schwarber and Heyward murder this lineup. I don’t care that Heyward gets an occasional hit or that Schwarber hits a homer every so often. They are consistently below average and do not get the job done. Defensively, sure – Heyward is a stud. But so is Almora, and given the chance he has shown that he CAN hit. Let him play. Jay has been serviceable, but he’s no Almora out there.

      Hey, the ONLY reason Baez is playing every day? AND BECOMING A SUPERSTAR? Is because Russell is injured. Who knows what Maddon will do when Russell is available…but I’m guessing we won’t like it.

      • Doc Raker

        Let’s see, Almora plays better D than Schwarber and hits better than Schwarber but Schwarber plays more. Baez is proving to be a better hitter than Russell and has superior D than Russell so naturally Russell will play more.

  • Buddy

    Another HR allowed by Lackey. One step closer to the Cub record books!

    • Sherm

      Then this game is probably over because the Cubs cannot hit Carlos Martinez. And Maddon probably went with his “all lefty” lineup, which will fail because Martinez’ slider is wicked to lefties. He’ll likely strike out 12 or 13 today.

      Even in China, I rant.

  • Michael S.

    Must say being able to watch the game on Facebook today is rather handy.

    • Sherm

      No FaceBook in China. No Google in China. No Twitter in China.

      • Aside from missing the game I’d say you’re better off without them.

  • pretty sure Contreras just got himself a suspension.. fucksake

    • Michael S.

      Probably, but it’s ridiculous. He wasn’t trying to hit the ump with the mask.

    • Bryzzo1744

      What did he do?

      • Michael S.

        Chucked his mask down in the dirt while or after getting tossed, it bounced up and glanced off umpire’s leg.

    • Lackey makes his own bed.

      • Sherm

        You mean stable.

      • You’re right. I did mean that.

  • Michael S.

    Avila will be our savior here.

  • wild game.. holy smokes

  • Buddy

    Not able to watch the game today. Did Lackey throw a tantrum when he got yanked?

    • Catch the replay for sure Buddy.. he looked like he was setting up to form-tackle the ump *before* he got tossed.

      • Definitely worth seeing.

    • Buddy

      Nevermind. Just heard that he was ejected. Can’t wait to see the highlights.

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    It is always nice when the Cubs score Touchdowns in the late innings.

    • cap’n realist

      against the Cardinals, I wish they’d have gone for the 2 point conversion….

      • Bryzzo1744

        Because they can’t go for 3!

  • Doc Raker

    These are not your Tony LaRussa Cardinals, if i was a Cardinal fan I would want Mike Matheny fired. On JJ’s RBI single the Cardinal CF holds onto the ball like a Little Leaguer and then when he does throw it to home to try and get Bryant Molina can’t catch the 1 hop throw and the ball hits Schwarber who is standing on deck behind home plate.

    Then later in the inning with the bases loaded Baez hits an easy come backer to the purple haired Martinez and he bobbles the ball and then throws the ball to Molina who then bobbles the ball and drops it.

    After the Cubs scored 7 runs to go up 8-2 the Cardinals are up to bat. Piscotti rips a double down the left field line. Baez is hustling after the play and the ball takes a weird bounce off of the Bartman wall and bounces back toward the hustling Baez. Baez races to the ball, grabs it and fires a strike to second base to nail Piscotti and erase his double. After getting tagged out Piscotti looks back at Baez as if to say, “Who the heck makes that play” while Baez kneeling on the grass smiling and laughing just looks down to the ground in an ‘awe shucks’ kinda of moment. The other Cubs on the field were fired up at the great hustle play, the Cubs just put a stake through the heart of the vampire and the vampire knew it.

    • cap’n realist

      And Russell will start at Short on Monday. Because the iPad didn’t actually SEE that play and it’s effect on the opposition. Artificial intelligence, at its core, is still artificial. Scouts know this. Joe and his iPad do not.

      • Bryzzo1744

        Often times the best play does to show up in the box score. I really don’t want to have to root for losses so Maddon gets fired. But Joe needs to go.

      • He’s a great football manager, but not a great coach.

    • Best game I’ve watched in a long time.

      • Doc Raker

        My lunch hour was during the 7 run inning and Baez defensive play and I was able to catch it at a local eatery….without sound. So I turned on my XM ap which is delayed and watched the game and listened to Pat and Cooms on delay which was fun because I knew when Pat was going to get excited. He yelled BOBBLED twice on that Baez come backer, “BOBBLED by Martinez, BOBBLED by Moilina, the run scores the Cubs catch a break!” Great stuff I could feel the Wrigley energy and the implosion of the Cardinals.

        Meanwhile, Len in a very monotone way tried to figure out who’s error it was. “Hm partner is that an Error on the Martinez BOBBLE? Error on Martinez throw? Error on Molina’s BOBBLE?” So many scoring options for Len, while Wrigley went crazy Len was tinkering with the footnotes of the scorebook.

      • Eddie Von White

        Score that one a hit.