- Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
- Lizard = The best Lizzie.
- MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’ers: Those with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
- Top 10 of the 2017 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)
As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.
- Perhaps the team was distressed that I had to stay up watching this game
- Honestly, what the hell is wrong with those two?
- They also had a grand time with Justin Wilson pitching to Willson Contreras because, hey, that’s got nothing to do with baseball but kills time.
- As bad as Schwarber’s defense looks on TV, it is far worse to see it in person.
- If I am not mistaken, our own fearless leader and consumer of Rum Chata, Joe, was at the game on the 1st. Brad was at the game on the second. Joe = 16 runs. Brad = 0. Brad? You are grounded from games until further notice. Joe? You are moving back to Chicago.
- Make up something totally stupid and say that Len Kasper said it. No one will question it and it’ll spark conversation.
- THED: “Well Mr Rickets, we have an issue we need to address to the fans. Apparently it was obvious Genius Joe was upset with Contreras attempting to bunt yesterday.
MR RICKETS: “Don’t we like on base percentage? He was trying to get on base, a job well done I would say.”
THED: Willson is our clean up hitter and he was the tying run at the time late in the game. He already had 2 home runs and an RBI single. He has been crushing the ball since we traded Miggy the finger pointer. We needed him to square one up again, not bunt.
MR RICKETS: Oh, the Javy Baez swing for the fences method at all times every swing, I see.
THED: No sir, not at all times but at this time a big hit is what we needed. It could of been The Contreras game, kinda like the June 23 1984 Sandberg game. Contreras leads the Cubs comeback with 3 bombs and 8 RBI’s but he trys to bunt in a crucial situation. The fans know he was going idiot there, they know Genius Joe was befuddled. We need to get some talking points out there to calm the fans. We need to get out ahead of this thing before everyone is talking about…..(looks around and whispers)…. The Low Baseball IQ issue
MR RICKETS: I see. How about we admit Genius Joe wanted him swinging away and not bunting and leave it at that. Don’t dwell on it, don’t break it down. Just admit the minimum and move on.
THED: OK sir. Just to be clear you are giving us clearance on admitting a Cub did something wrong.
MR RICKETS: Yes, go ahead and admit it. Just don’t linger on and on about it, move on to the Flinstones or the new Harry Styles song, Mrs Rickets loves those 1D kids. Her and Donna want to organize a 1D reunion show here at Wrigley on our next road trip. That Donna is a fun girl, her husband not so much.
THED: Len, JD- we got clearance. Go ahead and admit Genius Joe didn’t want Willson bunting in that situation. But no other admittance and don’t dwell on it, move onto the Harry Styles new release or something else quickly.
LEN: Willson did what?
THED: JD, explain it to Len.
HARRY CAREY: Rolled over in his grave as he mumbles, “I just don’t understand.”
- Jackson wasn’t the most popular Cub (for $37 million reasons)
- THED: Mr Rickets sir, how should we address the Javy Baez Low Baseball IQ issue?
MR RICKETS: What low IQ?
THED: Javy doesn’t have good at bats. He hits a bomb and then strikes out 10 times on pitches not even close to the plate.
MR RICKETS: Have Len and JD said anything on air about it?
THED: No sir, they ignore it. But it is getting to the point that even the soccer fans from Europe that know nothing about the game of baseball and are just visiting Wrigley Field are booing Javy, they seem to understand the ……(looks around and whispers) Low Baseball IQ issue.
MR RICKETS: What has Genius Joe done?
THED: Nothing, he just stands in the dugout sipping coffee looking befuddled.
MR RICKETS: Why don’t we say he is young will learn as he matures. We did a good job marketing Schwarbers defenses improvements so i don’t think anyone even noticed his misplays the other day. Mrs Rickets and Donna didn’t even wince when he kicked that ball and gave up a crucial run.
THED: That’s what we have been saying. Genius Joe said he will be mature in 2019 but Javy seems to be pretty stubborn, it’s like he is programmed this one way. “The term Reptile Brain is being used for him”
MR RICKETS: I like reptiles, the way they slow down when it is cold is fascinating. We should all slow down in the winter a bit. Donna and her husband have that awesome holiday party, never liked the husband but Donna is a great cook.
THED: Yes, reptiles are fascinating sir but back to the Baez (whipsers) Low IQ issue.
MR RICKETS: OK, let’s do this. Don’t explain anything to Len since it’s over his head in the first place and let JD say it is OK for Javy to cut his swing down to make more contact. Have JD say the coaches are working with Javy to make more contact and have better pitch selection.
THED: OK sir. Just ot be clear. Talk about the coaching.
MR RICKETS: Yes, talk about the coaching but don’t get frustrated on air. Have JD play along with Len on whatever idiotic topic he is on. Ignore and talk the minimum about the need for improvement. Now if you will excuse me I have tea waiting for me in the sun room with Mrs Rickets and her friend Donna.
THED: JD- the coaches are working with Javy on pitch selection and making more contact. Leave it at that. Don’t explain anything to Len, let him keep babbling about non sense so the fans don’t get frustrated.
JD- Yes sir
- Its hard to say why even the better arms in the rotation are getting touched up, but it’s something that definitely won’t fly if/when October baseball rolls around.
- I simply do not understand Joe’s dislike for good defense. I’m almost expecting a Schwarber-Zobrist-Contreras outfield in the future.
- this year the offense has been so anemic that Joe seems all too ready to fill out the lineup card with lesser defenders in order to try to generate some runs.
- I would (and have) also argue that the misplacement of defenders contributes to the lack of offense. Schwarber is out there hoping nothing comes his way and is too rattled about playing out of position that it messes with his hitting and overall approach. The same can be said about others when they have to play out of position (see Zobrist, Ben).
- The TV feed replayed the Rizzo clank play several times and it clearly showed the ball clanking off Rizzo’s glove which Len and JD then said……………………….nothing. Len and JD ignored the clank play like good soldiers. Nothing to see here, stop showing the replays, move along folks.
- When is the last time Rizzo went yard in a close game?
- A Tuesday.
- Even though the baseball sucked, I would like to thank Sherm, Micheal, and Doug for providing us content to comment on.
- Note to Genius Joe: It’s hard to have fun when you are getting your ass kicked no matter what you wear.
- In 2016 Maddon’s focus was to distract the team from feeling the weight of the wait, as Sherm aptly termed the championship wait. But in 2017 the focus needs to be sustained excellence and a continuation of development.
- Totally agree with the themed trips crap. I’m sure they were somewhat fun at first, but I’m guessing the novelty has worn off, especially the way this year has went. If you wanna mix it up? Make it “wear what you wanna wear” themed. No restrictions.
- Javy stood and admired his triple for a good 2 seconds before actually running. Impressive as the inside the Parker might have been, the play at the plate was far too close. A coach would pull him aside and let him know that.
- I think Genius Joe reads this blog, not so sure about Big Toe Joe
- Toe hasn’t showed his face since Liz dropped the F bomb. I think we’re dead to him.
- Following this years version of the cubs is maddening. I don’t really mean that as a pun.
- The cubs have always been bad on the west coast. I always thought that was just because they were a bad team in the past.
- shouldn’t the Funky Bunch still be paying you enough royalties that you don’t have to scrape by with commercials?
- Shitty hitting in situations that call for intelligence and a seemingly sub-zero batting average with RISP. Or should that simply be RIP, since this season is dying slowly.
- All I wanna know is if these jerseys entitle the teams to pizza and juice boxes after the game.
- Koji Uehara – (I have to use Cap’n’s nickname for him) Uehitmeharda
- Baez KKHRKK
- I’m enjoying the LLWS – it’s great to see solid fundamental baseball, players who care, humility, sportsmanship…and a backstop without constantly changing advertisements.
- The AZ broadcasters were stunned that he (or anyone, for that matter) would EVER throw Baez a strike.
- When Maddon brought in Almora to ph for Schwarber in the 8th, Brenly said “The applause you heard when Almora was announced as a pinch hitter came from Kyle Schwarber.”
- He’s at 7 consecutive strike outs and counting. He must be still playing everyday because of his defense. Wait. What?
- Non Cub news, since I don’t give a shit about the minors and it’s my post
- what could we possibly get for him at this point? His stock has to be in the Schitter.
- Help Wanted: Infielders Apply Inside at 1060 W. Addison
- I wouldn’t think I’d be this unsure of being in the postseason, in mid-August, right after winning the whole enchilada, but…these are odd times.
- [Schwarber] needs help. Joe, where are you?
- I believe the hand injury has made Bryant a better hitter. Maybe we should break one of Rizzo’s fingers.
- So much physical talent there, so little mentally.
- Len said that is a song, “So much physical talent, so little Mentally” a country song, at the end of the song you will want to be drunk.
- I remember when our pitchers got a lot of people out with good defense behind them. I remember it was fun.
- No one had their very first 2016/2017 Off-Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!
- Congratulations to (tied) Doc Raker and Sherm, Michael Stevens, and Brad Lyerla our Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time around! Thank you all for everything you contribute here!
Top 10 of the 2017 Season
(one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)
2. Doc Raker
3. cap’n realist
4. Eddie von White
6. Doug S.
7. Michael Stevens
7. Adam Peters
9. Jerry in Wisconsin
- What are your honest expectations for the Cubs in the post-season? I’m a card-carrying optimist and I know what I hope will happen, but realistically I am not expecting much based on the Cubs notable lack of execution paired with the performance of other teams this year. What say you?