View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003



August 2017



Nickname Jerseys are stupid

Written by , Posted in General

For the record, I stand behind the post title. Nickname Jerseys are stupid.

If they are going to have nicknames, they don’t get to CHOOSE their own. I get to choose them for them. Or you do. If you have better ideas, add them and let’s compare.

Joe Maddon – BinnyPimp

Dave Martinez – Cindy4Me

Chris Bosio – Donuts4Me

Jake Arrieta – Highest Bidder

Addison Russell – Slap Happy

Javy Baez – PR Windmill

Kris Bryant – KB (he gets to use the one he wants. He plays hard. He plays hurt. He doesn’t complain. He’s a pro)

Anthony Rizzo – HIT2SHIFT

Ben Zobrist – Ben better

Willson Contreras – Thumper

Alex Avila – Thanks, Dad

Kyle Hendricks – Mr. 4 and 2/3

Jon Lester – Yips

Jose Quintana – SouthSide Juanny

Pedro Strop – The Idiot

Hector Rondon – Aw Hec

CJ Edwards – Tubby

Wade Davis – (Funny that his jersey was NOT shown in the “team” picture, so I’m not naming him.)

Rob. Z –  Buy A Vowel

Brian Duensing – Cone hat

Mike Montgomery – ALCAP

Koji Uehara – (I have to use Cap’n’s nickname for him) Uehitmeharda

John Lackey – Seabiscuit

Ian Happ – 80% Happy

Albert Almora – Playmora

Jhon Jhay – No H

Jason Heyward – Overpaid

Tommy LaStella – Cryowa

Kyle Schwarber – SchwAAArbs



  • Ben

    Slap happy really sherm that’s low lol and Tubby for bean pole Edwards I mean I guess lol

    • Seymour Butts

      I guess I’m going to have to read the top half to comment on that.

      • Sherm

        If I take the time to write it you damn well better read it

      • Junior Von White

        There’s a top part?

  • cap’n realist

    Best. Top. Part.

  • cap’n realist

    Also…Mallee-UIC mullet. Trust me. It works.

  • Bryzzo1744

    Hendricks 4 2/3 is the perfect opportunity to use He Hate Me

  • Bryzzo1744

    Heyward – Overpeyward

  • Junior Von White

    Great post! What would the VFTB nickname jerseys look like?

    • Sherm

      Funny you should ask that – I had them ready to go, but decided at the last minute to abort that part of the mission. First of all, I realized that most of us are USING nicknames now, anyway, but also the “other” reason.

  • Kyle

    Zobrist – 4-6-3 DP! (referring to batting not fielding)

    • Sherm

      I like it! For Schwarber, I thought about KKBBK and for Baez KKHRKK, but went with the others after a very close vote (for the record, I was the only one voting)

      • Kyle

        Heyward last year could’ve been “K GB K GB”

      • Jerry in Wisconsin

        Beaz should be KKPitcher mistake(HR)KK.

  • SouthCarolinaCubFan1991

    What about “F Bombs” for Lackey? (google John Lackey gif)

    • Sherm

      That’s a good one. I thought about UMP LOVER, but couldn’t get past SeaBiscuit.

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    Wade Davis – Lone All-Star, with subtitle: Maybe You Other Guys Should Play Better

  • Doug S.

    Slow day until game time so I’ll post my just finished, unsolicited and likely unwanted 10 day, 5 state travel guide:
    Nebraska – Corn, waiting for football season (skip)
    Deadwood, SD – Old west, old bars, hot, casinos, fun tour, Mt Rushmore nearby (check)
    Wyoming – ??? (skip)
    Denver, CO – Rox-Mets x 2, good beer, Mexican food (check) boring history tour (skip) 15 hour train ride through the Rockies (check, but long)
    Salt Lake City, UT – Salt Lake Bees game (check) everything else (skip)

  • Doc Raker

    I met a guy with a nickname of Guarv

    • Bryzzo1744

      One thing that aggravates me more than anything is when people misspell my name even when it’s right in front of them.

  • Doc Raker

    Mr Ed