View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003



August 2017



GirlieView (08/03/2017)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’ers: Those with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2017 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.


  • So apparently it was a hot one in Atlanta today, since Chip and the other guy spent half the game moaning about it. It’s HOT-lanta guys. You never noticed that before?
  • I think all the credit for this second half resurgence goes to Sherm. His rant at the break CLEARLY got their attention. Now they do good baseball things like score more runs than the other guys.
  • I am happy, even though I am tied behind Seymour, I had a weeks vacation and still did not drop out of the top ten.
  • Tied behind butts seems significantly worse than being behind butts.
  • So, the Brewers have now played 4 more games than the Cubs. Which means they have 4 more off days remaining than the Cubs do, barring doubleheaders (I’m a math whiz!). Hope that extra rest for them doesn’t become a problem.
  • Cubs rested the entire 1st half…
  • Joe’s Mom isn’t that far behind Joe. She can do better.
  • Yeah, but beating one’s children is frowned upon.
  • The difference so far since the break is that the team, as a whole, is playing closer to the level of talent they have.
  • I believe this is the first Girlie View with a penis. There is an actual picture of a penis
  • Dear Jerry, That is not an actual picture of a penis. Sorry to disappoint. I can text you some if you want. Anthony
  • I do not find this even remotely amusing.
  • Yeah, well, you spelled your name wrong, REAL Anthony Weiner.
  • Read the top part for some goddamned reason.
  • Was it to find the parabola?
  • Parabola is going around, I understand mosquitos carry the virus.
  • Feeling sorry for the poor guy that recaps this POS.
  • Nice job, Ryan. If I had written today’s post it would have been titled “What the fuck was that?” so we’re all likely better it came from you.
  • I don’t want Darvish. I could not handle listening to the bad Frampton references from Len. (I want Yu to show me the way…)
  • I’m pretty sure Eddie Von Baseball’s daughter has the same insight and love for the game.
  • (apologies to Victor Caratini, whose batting average makes this writer long for Koyie Hill again)
  • I’m more confident that the offense is going to be able to overcome Lackey, which certainly wasn’t the case earlier in the year. Besides, he gets too bad/mouthy, I’m sure he’ll end up back on the DL with a sprained gooch or some similar excuse for ‘bloated ERA’.
  • You can sprain that thing?
  • I paid more for an “anti-sprain” gooch. Well worth the extra dough.
  • I paid less for a pre-sprained gooch, once sprained you avoid the pain and have more cash.
  • So, are gooches one size fits all? Or do we need to make multiple sizes? Where will I find a gooch expert? Michael S. brought it up – he must know something about it. I’ll need specs. CAD drawings. I’m visualizing Gooches R Us stores popping up all over the US.
  • let me know if you need any gooch financing. I can reach out to a few lenders and have them put together some gooch risk matrices.
  • I’m VTFB’s foremost authority on gooch-related matters. But I don’t think you can afford my rate.
  • Another Boras client, great.
  • I prefer players who don’t sprain their gooch.
  • A pulled gooch might be just as bad.
  • Gooch lacerations are the worst.
  • I’ve sewn a few of those up. Tedious work, but man are the patients appreciative.
  • Is that a some sort of package deal.. buy two heart stints, get some complimentary gooch work?
  • Even when Hendricks was as healthy as a horse, mega-efficient, and the World Series on the line, Maddon wouldn’t let him pitch deep into any game. As long Maddon is the manager, I doubt Hendricks will ever see the 7th inning again as a Cub.
  • I bet the Cubs would be willing to eat the money on Lackey’s contract if they got the players they wanted.
  • Even not considering the money, who would give up any decent players for Lackey? Guys who can take the ball every 5th day and give up gopher ball after gopher ball are a dime a dozen. Just ask the Reds.
  • I’m not sure those Reds pitchers even have a gooch to sprain.
  • Maybe Bryant doesn’t swear just like Lizzie doesn’t swear?
  • It’s infuriating that [Baez] can’t adjust to his overwhelming predictability.
  • Then they drooled all over Lester after the cricket bowl, like he fixed something. It was like they were reading a memo from the Cubs front office. “Well, JD, Lester’s never shied away from this mental block….and he’s worked on it, and it paid off” What the Gregging Gregg is that?
  • I had to mute it at that point. I would call it slobber.
  • Nice job not swearing – Lizzie and KB would be proud
  • But just because you went from a turtle to a log then over an alligator to the lily pad yesterday it doesn’t mean you won’t get run over by a truck right out of the gate today.
  • Zach Davies, for whom I think the Brewers got a special waiver from his parents to allow him to play in the major leagues—probably as a reward for graduating high school early this year.
  • I did see in an interview that [Lackey] eluded to being OK with going to the bullpen in the playoffs, but he wasn’t going to do it in the regular season.
  • He should be OK with whatever his manger thinks is best for the team. That’s what Lackey should be OK with.


  • 8-1 since the break, 1 bad inning or we would be 9-0.

Shout Outs

  • Sooooooooooo Anthony Weiner and the Real Anthony Wiener got their first 2017 In-Season Lizzies. I’d say “thanks for being here” but really no thanks.


  • Congratulations to (tied) Michael Stevens and Sherm, Doc Raker, and (tied) Adam Peters and jswanson, our Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time around! Thank you all for everything you contribute here!

Top 10 of the 2017 Season

(one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. cap’n realist
3. Doc Raker
4. Eddie von White
4. jswanson
6. Doug S.
7. Adam Peters
8. Michael Stevens
9. Jerry in Wisconsin
9. Seymour

Chit Chat

  • I’m enjoying watching baseball again, are you?


  1. Michael S.
    • Bryzzo1744
      • Brad Lyerla
      • Bryzzo1744
  2. Doug S.
  3. Doc Raker
    • Sherm
  4. Brad Lyerla
    • Jerry in Wisconsin
      • Sherm
      • Jerry in Wisconsin
      • Jerry in Wisconsin
      • Doc Raker
      • Brad Lyerla
  5. Adam Peters
    • Bryzzo1744
    • cap'n realist
      • Sherm
      • Jerry in Wisconsin
      • Sherm
    • Brad Lyerla
      • Sherm
      • Brad Lyerla
      • Adam Peters
    • Sherm
    • Eddie Von White
      • Michael S.
      • Sherm
      • Sherm
      • Doug S.
      • Doug S.
      • Sherm
      • Eddie Von White
      • Sherm
  6. Doc Raker
  7. Doc Raker