View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003

Thursday

20

July 2017

28

COMMENTS

GirlieView (07/20/2017)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’ers: Those with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2017 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Koji Uehara decides to kiss his sister by walking in a run.
  • 2 hits against the entire bullpen of the worst team in the NL. Unacceptable.
  • Kris Bryant lost the game when he miss judged the “double” to right. That would have been caught by a regular outfielder and Butler would have continued to cruise instead of being yanked and the outcome would have been totally different. Just saying…
  • I believe someone around here has said repeatedly that Bryant should only be in right field when he is over for the shift. I thought Maddon read this blog. WTF?!?!
  • But it’s fun to play and bat guys anywhere and everywhere and to be eclectic and quirky. Meanwhile, a real outfielder, Jhon Jhay, doesn’t play (until late) and Ian Happ, a guy who “can” outfield, plays second base, and Baez, a second baseman, doesn’t play at all.
  • Maybe it was a scheduled “loss” day. Maybe Joe made out this lineup in spring training. Maybe they were all wearing Kyle Schwarber’s underwear.
  • Speaking of Schwarber. Wondering Maddon’s conversation with himself on that. “Hmmm…guy can’t seem to hit at all right now. Timing is just awful. I KNOW!!! I’LL BAT HIM THIRD because that’s always a good place to hide your worst hitter.”
  • The Cubs need to use the 10 day DL a little bit faster then they are.
  • It’s okay as long as you don’t mind Montero at shortstop on occasion, and Strop playing centerfield.
  • With Heyward shelved, Jhay has to play everyday…you just can’t have 2 minus outfielders out there.
  • Actually, Joe has asked in the past that we keep this a family blog, and we should probably all try to respect that…let’s just go back to using Gregg in these situations.
  • Yeah it’s time to get into gear. Put together an actual baseball lineup, stick with it until we get a cushion. Then do goofy shit or whatever. Actual lineup for the post season.
  • Good call – no pillow fights until we’re 10 games up.
  • Good thing I’m not running the show. All travel to Iowa would be by bus. Plenty of time to think about why you’re on a bus. The other way is a flight.
  • It feels like every other day I have been saying “that’s the game that turned the season around” only to see a different team take the field the following day.
  • 2 hits Wed, 16 hits Thurs.
  • Happy Birthday to Sherm
  • Was it Groucho Marx who said “I’ve never seen a stranger group of dorks in my life” or was that our waitress at the bar in San Diego.
  • They looked alike…
  • Groucho was hotter
  • Just so you know I had to post this encouraging spreadsheet information today as I will be on my annual camping fishing trip next week – My expectation is the cubs will be in first place upon my return next sunday. Hopefully we will not get eaten by bears or swept over any waterfalls. I’m out
  • Here at the VFTB we bring intelligent realism to Cubs Nation, No Cub Should be An All Star, #NCSBAAS
  • Hangovers are hard…but they should be easier to get over the younger you are.
  • Kyle – You’re going to Iowa to get some work in a lower pressure environment. Take a few days to get there, but don’t go LaStella on us, OK?
  • now you’re just exacerbating things…
  • Liar! I haven’t touched myself in hours!
  • Rizzo leads off with a double. Does Bryant really have good ‘move him over’ AB’s? I say no.
  • Eddie Butler + Nationals lineup = Trouble!
  • Costas and Len would be wonderfully horrible together.
  • Not really a fan of Costas either. He’s like Joe Buck in that he announces far too many different sports, and doesn’t seem to do any of them very good.
  • FP Santangelo used the tele-strator to show WHY Baez cannot hit the slider. Meanwhile, Len Kasper used an Etch-a-Sketch to draw Michael Stipe’s penis.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • So Doug S and Doug Saye are different people. I see an opportunity for more creative screen names. I will let you in on a secret. Seymour Butts is not really my name. Shocking, right?
  • I made the concession to ‘Douglas’ since Doug S. was here first.
  • Very sporting of you, thanks – butt my name is actually Seymour.
  • To calm myself, I started Ross’s book last night in my hot tub. Early on, he talks of spending time last season with his family on road trips in hotel suites. The suite upgrade was a retirement gift from Jason Heyward. For the entire season. Heyward’s stock has gone up immeasurably with me this year. The guy works hard and is a great teammate. He isn’t just showing up and taking the money.
  • I’m still going to keep harping on how stupid this game of “musical baseball positions” is. How many different catcher-SS-2B-3B variations have we had this season? Seems like a thousand. I think that plays a factor into not throwing people out too. The best teams have one everyday player for each position, especially the infield because the best infields are incredibly synchronized.
  • Note that my article blamed both Jake and Miggy as opposed to just Miggy as he suggested with his comments. I’m starting to think VFTB isn’t on his reading list.
  • Doug- your a dumbass.
  • Quit acting like Montero! We had a deal that we would keep our arguments behind closed doors. You know, me being a dumbass and your grammatical problems. Don’t get DFA’d.
  • You expect an eye doctor to spell and have proper grammar. Why do you think their eye charts all have the letters mixed up?
  • First post I had get a significant number of comments, I think precisely 0 had anything to do with the article.
  • I bet I was doing my Pierce Johnson material.
  • Sounds like a hard day.
  • I’ve been trying to focus more on Trey McNutt lately. Like if I was calling a game and Trey was batting with a 2-1 count, I’d say something like “don’t know about the rest of you, but I wouldn’t mind seeing another ball here.” “Three and one on Trey McNutt.. now THAT’S more like it!”
  • Mini-Realist surrendered her role of Maria so we could go on our scheduled camp trip to the warm sunny beaches of San Diego this long holiday weekend. She’s now Bertha the nun, which, lets face it, this dad loves.
  • National lead-off hitter Turner had two more stolen bases but was thrown out trying to steal third base by Contreras. I don’t expect Contreras to complain about Lester’s time to home.
  • So I come out of the woods to find the cubs down 3 games and below 500 at the official half way point – what the hell happened? The I looked closer and really it was just more of the same thing that we have watched all year. I just keep expecting things will be better.
  • At least you made it out of the woods alive. We almost gave up hope.
  • Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated
  • This is such a frustrating team to follow this year – today seemed like a bad luck loss that you probably blow off if it weren’t for the other 41 unlucky losses
  • Most years, I hate the All-Star break; three days with no baseball, and one day with a game I can barely get interested in. This year, though, I find myself looking forward to the time off, and the possibility that a reset of sorts for the Cubs might make some tangible difference in their performance.
  • They shipped Miguel Montero to the Blue Jays for basically nothing (Player To Be Named Later, which will probably become cash considerations in the form of a ham sandwich or something)
  • Has Lester’s ability/desire to play defense gotten worse? Or has he always been like this?
  • He’s always been bad at defense, but now he’s just given up the pretense of trying.
  • I started the parking ticket conversation because I just don’t want to think about how nuts this team’s garbage effort this far is making me.
  • That seems to be happening frequently these days, though I think that’ll only work for the comments. Think I might get in hot water if my next post was a how-to on badly refinishing a wooden dinner table.
  • Stats show otherwise. COPIP (comments on posts in play, i.e. “Reading the top part and actually commenting on it” is at an all time low.
  • Jerry in Wisconsin has been cleaning gutters and downspouts for at least a week now. Must have been a tough job…
  • I think this is a good strategy after another loss by this team – first go straight to the comments and the first person to post has to be so off topic that we forget a game has even happened – I think we would all feel better – thanks cap’n
  • Before the bottom of the first Len tried to invoke the spirit of Harry Caray by commenting that Rays pitcher Blake Snell’s name spelled backward is Llens. “With two Ls, like Willson,” added J.D. And groans could be heard emanating from throughout the Chicagoland area.
  • How many times have we thought these guys were getting over the hump this season? There’s been enough to make me think the trajectory of this season is shaped like a sine wave.
  • So Joe West gets home plate for the ASG. Apparently MLB does not take this game seriously either.
  • Jon Jay bringing the medium-low heat…still pitched better than Jack Leathersich.
  • I’d say we need a nickname for Leathersich but he won’t be around long enough for it to stick.
  • ‘Player to be Named Later’.
  • Let’s recap, because we hate ourselves.
  • OK, I’ll bite, Who is Wilson.
  • Carnie
  • But what erks me, other than the Cubs having to use position players to pitch, is the fact that players in the dugout think that this is knee slapping hilarious.
  • The Cubs escaped with a win on Friday, 6-1 over the Pittsburgh Pirates, even after stranding 24 runners on base.
  • This shit’s real?
  • Just like the Cub ballplayers…I need a break.
  • They’re five and half back in a division that Vanderbilt could win.
  • Great managers know how to adapt and keep their team winning, and there is no reason for the 2017 Cubs to have a losing record at the break. Joe, it’s do or die time.
  • Maddon did a great job when everyone was new and inexperienced, but now that everyone has their own underwear deal he doesn’t seem to know how to handle them.
  • These are grown men, paid hugely to play a game for work. They need to figure out how to have enough stamina to play their game two extra weeks at the end of the “year.” What if you told your boss you were too tired from last year to finish the last two weeks of work this year?
  • Wow. A front line starting LHP that can hold runners AND field his position. It will mkake at least one out of the next 5 games worth watching.
  • Just because they are good at baseball, doesn’t mean they all really understand baseball.
  • How refreshing to have a broadcaster that understands and cares when his team shots themselves in the foot. Meanwhile, Lena and JD where planning their funny outfits for the flight to Altanta.
  • I, too, enjoyed listening to the Orioles radio guys when I had to make a quick run to get food for the family. It’s like the organization hires these guys with them knowing that if they sense the fans are pissed they need to be pissed as well.
  • Quintana Has Arrived
  • it really warmed my heart when the Cubs offense put together a lovely, home run free rally in the top of the second.
  • I think I am going to start my own podcast broadcast, “Welcome to beautiful Wrigley Field for Cubs Cards. Hello Everybody, I am Raker, Doc along with Sherm and the Capn ready for some Cubs baseball” With remote interviews from JSwan and the Merry Band of Misfits from VFTB.
  • Can you imagine the “Lackey to the bullpen” conversation between Maddon and Bosio?
    Maddon: “you tell him”
    Bosio:” no, you tell him”
    Maddon: you tell him”
    Bosio: “I’m not telling him. You tell him”
    Maddon: “I’m the manager. You tell him”
    Bosio: “You’re the manager. You should tell him”
    Enter Lackey.
    Lackey: “what’s up?”
    Bosio and Maddon, at the same time: “You’re starting Tuesday”
  • Evidently, the All-Star break (for everyone but Wade Davis) did something good for these guys, as they’re 4-0 out of the break, and have scored 31 runs in those four games.
  • I am a little disappointed that when I sat down to do my morning business on Wednesday there was no new post regarding the Cubs 5 game winning streak. So I decided to do my own, minus the cool graphics and such.

Lizard

  • We are 1-0 after the break….welcome back!

Shout Outs

  • No one had their very first 2017 Season Lizzie this time so let’s have a shout out for everyone! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm and (tied) cap’n realist and Michael Stevens, our Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time around! Thank you all for everything you contribute here!

Top 10 of the 2017 Season

(one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

(I’ll do a full accounting since this is the first post-All Star Break GirlieView!)

1. Sherm
2. cap’n realist
3. Doc Raker
4. Eddie von White
5. jswanson
6. Doug S.
7. Adam Peters
8. Ryan Huff
9. Seymour
10. Buddy
10. Jerry in Wisconsin
10. Michael Stevens
13. Dork
13. Doug Saye
15. Brad Lyerla
15. Chris Martin
15. Jim Cogdal
15. Junior von White
19. Chet West
20. Ian Hansen
20. Joe Aiello
20. Nate Head
23. Jeff Ragauskis
23. Kyle
23. Mark from Toronto
23. Nate Schmidt
27. Trevor Macek
28. Bill Thompson
28. Joe’s Mom
28. SouthCarolinaCubsFan1991

Chit Chat

  • If we have to have an off-day, I’m much happier for it to follow a few wins! The Cubs have been doing very well since the All Star break. What differences are you noticing that make you happy?
  • Michael S.

    I think all the credit for this second half resurgence goes to Sherm. His rant at the break CLEARLY got their attention. Now they do good baseball things like score more runs than the other guys.

    • Sherm

      I was thinking that, too, but am far too humble to bring it up.

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    I am happy, even though I am tied behind Seymour, I had a weeks vacation and still did not drop out of the top ten.

    • Tied behind butts seems significantly worse than being behind butts.

  • Seymour Butts

    Just finished watching the Pirates finish off a 4 game sweep of the Brewers. Cubs actually 1 game up on the Brew Crew in the loss column.

    • Michael S.

      So, the Brewers have now played 4 more games than the Cubs. Which means they have 4 more off days remaining than the Cubs do, barring doubleheaders (I’m a math whiz!).

      Hope that extra rest for them doesn’t become a problem.

      • cap’n realist

        Cubs rested the entire 1st half…

      • Sherm

        And there it is. The Lizard. An hour into the two week cycle. Well done, Cap’n.

      • Sherm

        I honestly think that the Brewers will end up in fourth place in this division, behind the Cubs, Cards, and Pirates. This division is not as weak as it appeared to be –

      • Was thinking the same thing.. especially the Pirates.

  • Sherm

    It’s unrelated to anything Cub, but if you haven’t seen this…it’s worth a couple minutes. Funny stuff.

    https://youtu.be/nvoMmxzmXts

    • He went with Blanche?

    • Dork

      Yes that was enjoyable, but you have to save this stuff for after losses.

      • Sherm

        I am operating under the assumption that they will not lose another series until spring 2018 – when they are fighting the back to back hangovers. And I just didn’t think this could wait.

      • cap’n realist

        That’s MY thing.

    • Bryzzo1744

      That’s awesome. Manning is still keeping it real.

  • Sherm

    Hey…Joe’s Mom isn’t that far behind Joe. She can do better.

    • Michael S.

      Yeah, but beating one’s children is frowned upon.

      • cap’n realist

        Ty Webb- ‘you’ll just have to keep beating yourself Judge’.

  • Sherm

    Check out who gets mentioned in this article. I’ll give you a hint. His first name is Adbert.

    http://www.espn.com/blog/sweetspot/post/_/id/81310/every-teams-untouchable-player-at-the-trade-deadline

    • Bryzzo1744

      We should promote him this year. He can be this year’s K-Rod in October.

  • Doug S.

    The difference so far since the break is that the team, as a whole, is playing closer to the level of talent they have.

  • Jerry in Wisconsin

    I believe this is the first Girlie View with a penis. There is an actual picture of a penis, not Joe telling us he saw Murton naked or someone joke.

    • You’re very welcome.

    • Groundbreaking!

    • Anthony Weiner

      Dear Jerry,

      That is not an actual picture of a penis. Sorry to disappoint.

      I can text you some if you want.

      Anthony

      • the Real Anthony Wiener

        I do not find this even remotely amusing.

      • Sherm

        Yeah, well, you spelled your name wrong, REAL Anthony Weiner.