EMBRACE THE SCHMUCK
Okay, look. I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to stay upbeat and positive. I can’t do that anymore. It took a ten run first inning to help me realize WHY I’ve turned into such a nice fucking guy – because they won the World Series last year. Well, that’s over. That’s right, folks, it’s in the past and this is a “what have you done for me lately” world we live in, and I’m not happy. Just like many of you, I rode the wave of the glorious championship…probably way too long. Not as long as the Cubs, but long enough. That wave has now thrown us into the rocks, and left us bloody on the beach. Or some such metaphoric crap. We’ve reached the All-Star break – the figurative halfway point of each baseball season – and this guy is NOT happy.
Try not to suck. We didn’t suck. Embrace the suck. Fuck you, Joe, and your T-Shirts, and stupid slogans. How about spending SOME time working on fixing your TEAM? I’m calling for the head of Joe Maddon. (Not literally, CAPS, put down the machete.) I think Maddon needs to resign immediately and let someone else manage this team. He’s lost control. His idiotic Maddon-isms are no longer endearing (if they ever were) and his disregard for the fundamental things that have proven to be solid contributing factors to winning baseball for tens of decades is immediate cause. Go sell champagne. Go pretend you know what you are doing for another organization desperate for change. So desperate that they’d hire a complete lunatic…
For the record? I don’t give him much credit for the World Series victory. He did just about everything in his power to LOSE that series with Cleveland. And if you don’t believe me? Try using your memory – you SAW it — and quit being so forgiving because he got lucky and didn’t lose. His game mismanagement was astonishing. Only a young core of players who didn’t know better and who got hot at the right time saved his bacon. The credit for assembling those players goes to Theo & Co. Maddon had nothing to do with that. It’s his job to get the most out of them…and you are seeing this season just how well he does that. He stands there on the top step…confused. He said two days ago he was working on the All Star lineup. Meanwhile, HIS team just lost two important in-division games. Way to have your head in the game, Joe. We’ve embraced this schmuck long enough. No more Anchorman parties. No more snake charmers, or clowns, or jugglers or whatever he has planned to cheer up the troops. How about some good baseball? Is that too much to ask? I fear that it is.
I’m not going to provide a laundry list of his shortcomings. Our Joe would like this article to be under a million words. I don’t have a replacement in mind. Let Dave Martinez do it. Let David Ross do it. Let Cap’n Realist do it. Just get someone in place who is a real manager who will set expectations and have consequences when they are not met. Respect 90? I remember when they all did. Before they realized he didn’t really give a shit. He’s all about the slogan…not the job. Player’s manager? I call bullshit. Players want to win, and NEED to be managed. We all work, right? Isn’t there SOMEONE in your world who wouldn’t be happy if you weren’t getting it done?
Look at Dave Roberts in L.A. He lets the eagles fly…for sure, but he’s disciplined Puig SEVERAL times for losing focus and/or being stupid, and the other guys SEE that. It becomes part of the culture. DON’T SCREW UP. Instead, Maddon brings a culture of “IT DOESN’T MATTER” and therefore, it doesn’t. Not a bit.
Finally, and don’t think for a minute that I MEAN finally, but it’s my podium right now, so deal with it…I’m going to do the unthinkable and wonder OUT LOUD here if winning the World Series didn’t do something to me. Maybe I only loved the Cubs BECAUSE they had not won a world series. Maybe that’s the only reason. Is that possible? Because right now? I really hate this team. When they were the lovable losers, you could love them every day – win or lose – because they tried SO HARD and you could always relate to that. It’s life. It’s human. We bust our asses every day to move the ball down the field in our lives, and it’s hard and we don’t take any of it for granted because it’s all we have, and we are grateful for every day we are here. But that similarity with the Chicago Cubs is gone. They won the lottery and forgot who their friends were. I don’t see gratitude out there. I don’t see them busting their asses. I see them tweeting. And joking. And not caring if they lose…because they won the WS last year, so who cares, right? Well, I care. And I’ve realized that I don’t care if its 108 years or 1 year, I want to see my team play hard, and play well, and God-willing, make the playoffs and hopefully compete for a title. They are no longer lovable losers. All that talent. ALL THAT TALENT. And they have collectively become dislikable winners. I like them all individually. (Well, not ALL of them. That’s another post. As a team, though, they make it tough…) And it pisses me off. I’m glad it’s the All Star break. I will not watch the game. Please do NOT text me if Maddon bats the pitcher eighth. I don’t care. Just like the Cub ballplayers…I need a break.