View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003



May 2017



GirlieView (05/11/2017)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’ers: Those with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2017 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.


  • Albert Almora is on fire.
  • What’s wrong with Zobrist?
  • You gotta dip! Gotta!
  • Cue Seymour….
  • Not making the connection… I am unfamiliar with the dip phenomena, though the conversation does bring to mind a 2 word personal pronoun with the first word being dip.
  • Theria? Thong? Ittydo? Stick? Lomat?
  • I had a buffalo Italian sausage last night. It wasn’t awful, but I doubt that it will become a regular thing for me.
  • I hate to say it, but I’m pretty sure that awful buffalo Italian sausage you had last night was actually that vermin you saw run across the field on Sunday.
  • I love the guy, but if Zobrist keeps hitting like this his defense sure isn’t going to keep him in the lineup. And as you say, Nate, it will just expedite his inevitable transition to the bench and Baez’s to starter. At the end of the day that might not be such a bad thing.
  • We are aware that our boys won a nice game last night, right? With the dominant talk being of sausage, condiments, and sticky fingers, I thought I had stumbled onto a Japanese fetish website.
  • I just like that you have that frame of reference.
  • I just like that we are not talking about sausage any more
  • I just like that we aren’t talking about LOSING any more…
  • Hey, I heard you were born in like 1930. Go take a nap.
  • Speaking about losing and sausage, whatever happened to our Johnsons? One of them popped up in November I think.
  • Was that during the Merkle Boner story?
  • I am surprised nobody bit on this.
  • Biting on a Boner story. I think Tommy left.
  • Schwarber is simply pressing WAY too much – and needs to hit middle of the order to relieve some of the pressure.
  • Off days always suck
  • My favorite part of the game was when Travis Shaw hit a foul ball and JD said, “Can we call that a Shaw Shank?” My second favorite part of the game was when the TV camera man got a shot of a duck sitting on a roof top and Len yelled out to JD, “JD, DUCK” like Jd had to duck at something coming at him. It was all so funny. You see there was a movie back in the olden days called The Shawshank Redemption and JD’s comment was a reference to that movie, brilliant really. As for Len, he used the word duck, as in ‘duck your head so you don’t hit it on that low hanging fruit’ while the TV crew showed a picture of a duck, the kind that swims in lakes and ponds, which was really clever.
  • The whole series was a broadcasting shit show.
  • I would start with telling Theo and Joe to read the Blog more.
  • I would start by telling them that getting a Lizzie is completely subjective and according to your whim. Get in good with you and they will go a long way in life (on VFTB).
  • Give them a copy of Raker’s petition.
  • To Theo: “Where’s my ring?”
  • It may look like I’m in second, but it is really called first place behind Sherm.
  • Why do they have to keep waiting until the 9th, couldn’t we just win a 6-0 game sometime
  • The thing is, we watch to the very last out because we know they have the fire power to pull it out. In the old days we’d just go to bed after Grimm walks in a run.
  • Jessica is making SNB unwatchable – or at least, unlistenable.
  • Lackey may not be getting away with any mistakes but that’s because he makes more mistakes than he should be making. The hitters start waiting for the mistake because they know its coming which means it is no longer a mistake – its just the way he pitches.
  • He’s “fiery” and “full of spunk” or whatever when he’s winning. When he loses he’s just a bitter, old a$$hole who lets the ump take him out of his game.
  • If Pontius Management buys the stadium rights, they’d be the Pontius Pirates.
  • It doesn’t help that the entire cast of Chicago Med runs to the mound every time he thinks he might have an owie. I think the guy has Eddie Von Munchausen Syndrome.
  • it sure is nice to have a positive conversation about Heyward
  • I’ve got recap duty today. The scheduled writer who shall remain nameless, continues his strike and holdout in search of a higher lizzie per post wage.
  • It’s a good thing he didn’t try to run Molina over. He would have just stuck to him and never made it to home plate.
  • I don’t know anything about Eric Thames but unless you are Eric Thames you don’t know for sure. People get accused of stuff all the time, in all walks of life, just prove them wrong
  • Just because the Cubs were able to rally from a 3-1 deficit to win the World Series doesn’t mean they need to recreate that stress and anxiety for Cubs fans so frequently in 2017.
  • Jh Jh’s arm is atrocious.
  • True, but that’s usually where your worst OF’s arm plays. I know, I was one.
  • You don’t need an arm in left field in Fenway, the Green Monster is 30 feet behind 3rd base.
  • The Cubs need an OPENER. A new pitching specialist who pitches only the first inning. The Near-starter then comes in and pitches from second inning on…
  • And by the way? Mendoza is still awful.
  • Mendoza likes the way Bryant bends his legs in his stance to get low, she thinks that is good for him because all the best softball hitters she has ever known have the same stance.
  • She also used the expression “barrel on ball” so many times that it started to make me uncomfortable.
  • it is frustrating to watch them underperform when you know what they are capable of along with a manager that out thinks himself.
  • Hang in there Doc! I’ll bet my Carlos Pena bobblehead that on October 1st we will all be very happy with how the regular season went.
  • 8:10pm. The tarp is off the field, which is good. I am sitting between my friend, a Cardinals fan, and another friend’s roommate, a fairly obnoxious Cubs fan. The roommate keeps leaning over me to make snide remarks to my Cardinals fan friend. They don’t know each other. This game can’t start soon enough, Brett Anderson or no Brett Anderson.
  • So last night was the first game for the over 50 swinging Seymours softball team. A windy night meant yours truly was given the starting pitching nod. Gave up 2 hits and no runs over a complete game 16-0 victory. That is the only game last night I care to recap, though agree that Ian did yeoman’s work.
  • Seymour von Cy Young.
  • Was it bobble head night? The first 3 in attendance get Seymour’s used bobble heads he has accumulated over the years.
  • Attendance was not that high, bobble-heads safe.
  • Late in the game Len went with the ‘fun fact’ that there are more molecules in a glass of water than cups of water in all the earth’s oceans. JD was clearly impressed then confused. Len clearly thinks he’s Bill Nye, which is cool because I truly believe that Bill Nye would do a better job as a play by play guy.
  • Carl Eddie Jr. was hitting on all 8 cylinders too. He’s my favorite Cub right now.
  • he is easily the baddest 132 lb. man in all of baseball right now.
  • First inning woes continue. Get Zobrist out of the field already. Enough.
  • Bless his heart….
  • I hate to sound like a broken record, but the closest Zobrist should be to right field is second base.
  • “If Chewbacca had walked more, he would have been named Wookie of the Year.” — Jim Deshaies
  • I’d probably be a bad baseball manager, there’d be an Express bus to Des Moines on standby.
  • I, admittedly, have never played professional baseball and cannot speak from experience, but the struggles our starting pitchers are having certainly cannot be helped by the fact that they’re digging themselves into a hole in the first inning. The psychological effect of that alone has to be pretty toxic.
  • Well, this is going well… What happened to our pitching?!


  • Stop me if you have heard this before….Cubs up 3 to 0 after the first. Yup, me neither.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Jim Cogdal and Kyle for their first 2017 In-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!


  • Congratulations to Sherm, Eddie von White, and (tied) Adam Peters, cap’n realist, Doc Raker, Doug S, and Seymour Butts our Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time around! Thank you all for everything you contribute here!

Top 10 of the 2017 Season

(one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Eddie von White
3. Doc Raker
4. Adam Peters
5. cap’n realist
6. jswanson
7. Buddy
7. Jerry in Wisconsin
7. Seymour
10. Doug S.

Chit Chat

  • For the record, I am not one of these “sky is falling” fans who has heartburn whenever things don’t go absolutely perfectly every single day. That’s why there are 162 games in a season. Ups and downs. I’m not calling for trades or demotions or Maddon’s head or a new front office. But, I might mix things up a bit and you might too. Be Joe Maddon. What would you change right now?


  1. Bryzzo1744
  2. Eddie Von White
  3. Adam Peters
  4. Doug S.
  5. Seymour Butts
    • cap'n realist
  6. Doug S.
  7. Doug S.
  8. Cap'n Kramerica
  9. Sherm
    • Jerry in Wisconsin
  10. Brad Lyerla
    • Sherm
      • Brad Lyerla
  11. Doc Raker
  12. Dork
    • Sherm
  13. SouthCarolinaCubFan1991
  14. Doug S.