View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003

Thursday

11

May 2017

88

COMMENTS

GirlieView (05/11/2017)

Written by , Posted in General

GirlieView Definitions

  • Lizzie = A funny, timely, and/or interesting quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.
  • Lizard = The best Lizzie.
  • MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’ers: Those with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)
  • Top 10 of the 2017 Season = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

  • Albert Almora is on fire.
  • What’s wrong with Zobrist?
  • You gotta dip! Gotta!
  • Cue Seymour….
  • Not making the connection… I am unfamiliar with the dip phenomena, though the conversation does bring to mind a 2 word personal pronoun with the first word being dip.
  • Theria? Thong? Ittydo? Stick? Lomat?
  • I had a buffalo Italian sausage last night. It wasn’t awful, but I doubt that it will become a regular thing for me.
  • I hate to say it, but I’m pretty sure that awful buffalo Italian sausage you had last night was actually that vermin you saw run across the field on Sunday.
  • I love the guy, but if Zobrist keeps hitting like this his defense sure isn’t going to keep him in the lineup. And as you say, Nate, it will just expedite his inevitable transition to the bench and Baez’s to starter. At the end of the day that might not be such a bad thing.
  • We are aware that our boys won a nice game last night, right? With the dominant talk being of sausage, condiments, and sticky fingers, I thought I had stumbled onto a Japanese fetish website.
  • I just like that you have that frame of reference.
  • I just like that we are not talking about sausage any more
  • I just like that we aren’t talking about LOSING any more…
  • Hey, I heard you were born in like 1930. Go take a nap.
  • Speaking about losing and sausage, whatever happened to our Johnsons? One of them popped up in November I think.
  • Was that during the Merkle Boner story?
  • I am surprised nobody bit on this.
  • Biting on a Boner story. I think Tommy left.
  • Schwarber is simply pressing WAY too much – and needs to hit middle of the order to relieve some of the pressure.
  • Off days always suck
  • My favorite part of the game was when Travis Shaw hit a foul ball and JD said, “Can we call that a Shaw Shank?” My second favorite part of the game was when the TV camera man got a shot of a duck sitting on a roof top and Len yelled out to JD, “JD, DUCK” like Jd had to duck at something coming at him. It was all so funny. You see there was a movie back in the olden days called The Shawshank Redemption and JD’s comment was a reference to that movie, brilliant really. As for Len, he used the word duck, as in ‘duck your head so you don’t hit it on that low hanging fruit’ while the TV crew showed a picture of a duck, the kind that swims in lakes and ponds, which was really clever.
  • The whole series was a broadcasting shit show.
  • I would start with telling Theo and Joe to read the Blog more.
  • I would start by telling them that getting a Lizzie is completely subjective and according to your whim. Get in good with you and they will go a long way in life (on VFTB).
  • Give them a copy of Raker’s petition.
  • To Theo: “Where’s my ring?”
  • It may look like I’m in second, but it is really called first place behind Sherm.
  • Why do they have to keep waiting until the 9th, couldn’t we just win a 6-0 game sometime
  • The thing is, we watch to the very last out because we know they have the fire power to pull it out. In the old days we’d just go to bed after Grimm walks in a run.
  • Jessica is making SNB unwatchable – or at least, unlistenable.
  • Lackey may not be getting away with any mistakes but that’s because he makes more mistakes than he should be making. The hitters start waiting for the mistake because they know its coming which means it is no longer a mistake – its just the way he pitches.
  • He’s “fiery” and “full of spunk” or whatever when he’s winning. When he loses he’s just a bitter, old a$$hole who lets the ump take him out of his game.
  • If Pontius Management buys the stadium rights, they’d be the Pontius Pirates.
  • It doesn’t help that the entire cast of Chicago Med runs to the mound every time he thinks he might have an owie. I think the guy has Eddie Von Munchausen Syndrome.
  • it sure is nice to have a positive conversation about Heyward
  • I’ve got recap duty today. The scheduled writer who shall remain nameless, continues his strike and holdout in search of a higher lizzie per post wage.
  • It’s a good thing he didn’t try to run Molina over. He would have just stuck to him and never made it to home plate.
  • I don’t know anything about Eric Thames but unless you are Eric Thames you don’t know for sure. People get accused of stuff all the time, in all walks of life, just prove them wrong
  • Just because the Cubs were able to rally from a 3-1 deficit to win the World Series doesn’t mean they need to recreate that stress and anxiety for Cubs fans so frequently in 2017.
  • Jh Jh’s arm is atrocious.
  • True, but that’s usually where your worst OF’s arm plays. I know, I was one.
  • You don’t need an arm in left field in Fenway, the Green Monster is 30 feet behind 3rd base.
  • The Cubs need an OPENER. A new pitching specialist who pitches only the first inning. The Near-starter then comes in and pitches from second inning on…
  • And by the way? Mendoza is still awful.
  • Mendoza likes the way Bryant bends his legs in his stance to get low, she thinks that is good for him because all the best softball hitters she has ever known have the same stance.
  • She also used the expression “barrel on ball” so many times that it started to make me uncomfortable.
  • it is frustrating to watch them underperform when you know what they are capable of along with a manager that out thinks himself.
  • Hang in there Doc! I’ll bet my Carlos Pena bobblehead that on October 1st we will all be very happy with how the regular season went.
  • 8:10pm. The tarp is off the field, which is good. I am sitting between my friend, a Cardinals fan, and another friend’s roommate, a fairly obnoxious Cubs fan. The roommate keeps leaning over me to make snide remarks to my Cardinals fan friend. They don’t know each other. This game can’t start soon enough, Brett Anderson or no Brett Anderson.
  • So last night was the first game for the over 50 swinging Seymours softball team. A windy night meant yours truly was given the starting pitching nod. Gave up 2 hits and no runs over a complete game 16-0 victory. That is the only game last night I care to recap, though agree that Ian did yeoman’s work.
  • Seymour von Cy Young.
  • Was it bobble head night? The first 3 in attendance get Seymour’s used bobble heads he has accumulated over the years.
  • Attendance was not that high, bobble-heads safe.
  • Late in the game Len went with the ‘fun fact’ that there are more molecules in a glass of water than cups of water in all the earth’s oceans. JD was clearly impressed then confused. Len clearly thinks he’s Bill Nye, which is cool because I truly believe that Bill Nye would do a better job as a play by play guy.
  • Carl Eddie Jr. was hitting on all 8 cylinders too. He’s my favorite Cub right now.
  • he is easily the baddest 132 lb. man in all of baseball right now.
  • First inning woes continue. Get Zobrist out of the field already. Enough.
  • Bless his heart….
  • I hate to sound like a broken record, but the closest Zobrist should be to right field is second base.
  • “If Chewbacca had walked more, he would have been named Wookie of the Year.” — Jim Deshaies
  • I’d probably be a bad baseball manager, there’d be an Express bus to Des Moines on standby.
  • I, admittedly, have never played professional baseball and cannot speak from experience, but the struggles our starting pitchers are having certainly cannot be helped by the fact that they’re digging themselves into a hole in the first inning. The psychological effect of that alone has to be pretty toxic.
  • Well, this is going well… What happened to our pitching?!

Lizard

  • Stop me if you have heard this before….Cubs up 3 to 0 after the first. Yup, me neither.

Shout Outs

  • Big shout outs to Jim Cogdal and Kyle for their first 2017 In-Season Lizzies!!!! Thanks for being here!

MVL

  • Congratulations to Sherm, Eddie von White, and (tied) Adam Peters, cap’n realist, Doc Raker, Doug S, and Seymour Butts our Most Valuable Lizzie-ers this time around! Thank you all for everything you contribute here!

Top 10 of the 2017 Season

(one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard)

1. Sherm
2. Eddie von White
3. Doc Raker
4. Adam Peters
5. cap’n realist
6. jswanson
7. Buddy
7. Jerry in Wisconsin
7. Seymour
10. Doug S.

Chit Chat

  • For the record, I am not one of these “sky is falling” fans who has heartburn whenever things don’t go absolutely perfectly every single day. That’s why there are 162 games in a season. Ups and downs. I’m not calling for trades or demotions or Maddon’s head or a new front office. But, I might mix things up a bit and you might too. Be Joe Maddon. What would you change right now?
  • I would replace myself with Bruce Bochy.

    • Jerry in Wisconsin

      But he would not have the Strop Hat or the Fontenot Hair. He clearly would not work.

      • I’m Joe Maddon (top part, Jer) but on second thought, I’d replace myself with a bemulleted Bruce Bochy.

      • Jerry in Wisconsin

        Maybe Maddon should try the Strop Hat and Fontenot Hair, now that would be changing things up.

    • Sherm

      Joe tried to trade you and KAPS for Bruce Bochy, but SFO insisted on just you. Joe demanded they take KAPS. They said no and it was a deal-breaker.

      • Doc Raker

        I spell it KAPS because he struck out a lot in Little League

      • Bryzzo1744

        I actually didn’t. I walked a lot and put a lot of balls into play

      • Dork

        Just like Adam Dunn!

      • Bryzzo1744

        No, he struck out a lot. With him 2/3 of the time it was either a walk, strikeout, or home run. I only had one extra base hit my whole Little League career, and it came in my last at-bat in the championship game. I hit a 3-run double, took 3rd on the throw the home, and then the catcher tried to nail me at 3rd, threw it into LF, so I scored on the error.

      • Remember that time you robbed the kid of a HR?

      • Sherm

        Remember the over under on leadoff hitters?

      • Nope.. can you refresh me?

      • Sherm

        Something about Doc set it at something and KAPS took something. Scroll back. It’s mentioned in every post for the last three months. Twice.

      • Raker can you refresh us on whatever KAPSLOWOPSINLL is talking about?

      • Sherm

        You forgot his platinum glove for robbing that kid of that homer that time.

        After the double.

        #oneoutofsevenchanceitwasaFriday

      • Bryzzo1744

        I do! It was right after the double

      • Remember the time you and your brother argued over ghost runners?

      • Sherm

        I once argued with a ghost about KAPS.

      • Bryzzo1744

        That was Calvin and Hobbes!

      • Sherm

        Which one are you?

      • Jerry in Wisconsin

        I picture CAPS as the stuffed tiger.

      • cap’n realist

        coach Adam was probably thrilled with you

      • Doc Raker

        KAPSBAPIP

      • Bryzzo1744

        Wouldn’t it be KAPSOBP?

  • Bryzzo1744

    I’d change up the batting order, to hit Schwarber in the 4 spot behind Bryzzo, instead of in front of them. Or better yet, swap Schwarber and Rizzo in the batting order.

    • Dork

      I kinda like the the switch schwarber and rizzo idea.

      • Bryzzo1744

        That would be leadoff hitter #5. Doc set the line at 7.5 and I took the over.

      • Sherm

        Really? Hadn’t heard.

  • Eddie Von White

    I’d let Kyle Hendricks stay in the game until he (Kyle) thinks he needs to come out.

    • Adam Peters

      I’m with Eddie Von Wise. Keep Hendricks in!

    • Bryzzo1744

      I agree with KTSDAD (plate I saw driving home yesterday, I thought of you when I saw that, EVW.)

      • Eddie Von White

        Nice!

      • Sherm

        I saw a license plate this morning.
        CDY3481 Nevada plate. Absolutely no significance whatsoever.

  • Adam Peters

    I’d start this for several games in a row:

    Jay – LF
    Bryant – 3B
    Rizzo – 1B
    Russell – SS
    Montero – C
    Baez – 2B
    Heyward – RF
    P
    Almora – CF

    Unless Lester or Arrieta were on the mound. Then Contreras would be starting.

    I’d quit trying to figure out what’s wrong with Schwaber and just give him a few days off.

    • Bryzzo1744

      No Zobrist?

      • After I read that comment I started calling him “Nobrist.”

      • Sherm

        Knobrist. The K is silent.

  • Doug S.

    Not only do I get Seymour’s butt, but Jerry and Buddy’s as well. These guys crack me up.

    • Jerry in Wisconsin

      I am in a dangerous spot, any slippage and I may fall into the crack.

    • Eddie Von White

      Sense of humor is good. I thought you’d be depressed after your time in Denver.

      • Doug S.

        Kind of am, but we’re not far out.

      • Eddie Von White

        A 24 and 4 run will have us all back on their good side.

      • Sherm

        The gummie bears in Denver are good for beating depression.

  • Seymour Butts

    My underwear.
    The “Cleveland Rocks” themed banana hammock produced the famed comeback from 1:3, but it ain’t working now.
    Perhaps a Cardinal themed set of boxers where the redbirds are covered in patches of a brown substance. Available at Nordstroms for $425.

    • cap’n realist

      I’m returning to my regular name for a comment just to say that the above pathetic effort should net you negative Lizzie’s. Poop humor? Be better.

  • Doug S.

    One more Coors Field pic for fans of trivia. Took this during a walkabout yesterday. Was informed that the purple ring seats in the upper deck are exactly a mile above sea level. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c0c223e459ed5f8466540b8a9fe25c8f6769306db1d3332b0c5b288c73f1d5d3.jpg

    • Love the pic and the fun fact Doug!

      • Sherm

        I thought that was the “KAPS LINE” (below which he’s not allowed to sit.)

      • Doug S.

        Brilliant.

  • Doug S.

    To answer Lizzie’s ​question….
    If I believed Strop and Rondon had the physical tools, I’d work on some way of improving the mental part of their game.

    • Sherm

      Tommy Lobotomy surgery

  • Cap’n Kramerica

    I think firing Bosio would be an acceptable move. The pitchers are underachieving, some new blood coaching them is a solid idea.

    • Doug S.

      Interesting point Cap’n DuJour. Could help inject some new life.

      • Eddie Von White

        But not very likely.

      • cap’n realist

        Eddie Von Pessimist

  • Sherm

    If I’m Maddon:

    1. Shave that toilet scrubber off my face
    2. Resign the Binny’s Beverage Depot deal immediately and at least PRETEND to focus on baseball
    3. Buy a good book on fundamental baseball with a chapter on situational hitting
    4. Donate Brett Anderson’s body to science
    5. Find out what Dave Duncan is doing these days and throw a shitload of money at him to be the pitching coach.

    • Jerry in Wisconsin

      If the book has any advice on fielding your position make sure Lester reads it out loud to the team before and after every one of his starts.

  • Brad Lyerla

    This morning the Tribune asks: “Is it just us, or is the hipster-goofball-genius act wearing thin?”

    It’s not you.

    • Sherm

      I’ve been writing in this space since early last summer that his love affair with being Maddon-esque is a very dangerous thing…

      Now I fear the inmates are actually running the asylum. (Much like VFTB, I suppose)

      • Brad Lyerla

        I seem to remember you commenting on it. He lost some of his mystique with me in games 5, 6 and 7. Then, when I read in Verducci’s book, that Maddon still insists that his handling of the bull pen was mostly what had been contemplated all along and that IT WORKED, I really lost respect. Not for his knowledge, but for his inability to admit that the situation affected his judgment.

        Now, I wonder if the guys in the locker room lost a bit of respect for him too.

  • Doc Raker

    I don’t blame Chris Bosio for the poor pitching just like I don’t credit him with the outstanding pitching we got in 2016. The pitchers have a lot to do with it.

  • Dork

    Does this STL series seem like a must win?

    • Sherm

      I consider every series a “Should” win…ergo the disappointment lately.

      Too early for “Must” wins, IMO.

  • SouthCarolinaCubFan1991

    I’d like to see some shakeup with the batting order. I think we should bump Schwarbs out of the top spot and give more at bats to Almora.

    • Sherm

      I’m hoping tomorrow’s headline is “The Butler did it!”

      • I’m hoping for “No Ifs Ands Or But(lers) About It.. Cubs Win!”

      • Sherm

        How about “We want to Seymour Butler?”

      • Bryzzo1744

        Mmmmmmmmm…butter

      • Sherm

        I don’t get it. It makes no sense because Butler and butter are not the same thing.

        More Seinfled – Less Simpsons. Sign my petition.

      • Bryzzo1744

        You said butler? I thought you said butter. I must need to get my eyes checked.

      • Seymour Butts

        I know a guy

      • Sherm

        Forget the eye doctor, call a vet – pretty sure the horse is quite dead.

      • Is Eddie Butler the 2017 NL MVP?

      • Buddy

        I had the exact same headline thought this morning. Very funny. Unless you are somehow stealing my brain waves. I’m thinking of a number, what is it?

      • 7.5

      • Sherm

        ^ What he said

      • Buddy

        Dammit!

      • cap’n realist

        Sherm Von Hfuhruhurr.

      • Seymour Butts

        Cap’n Uumellmahaye

      • Sherm

        Seymour Necessiter

      • Jerry in Wisconsin

        I can’t keep any of these last names straight anymore.

      • Eddie Von White

        Where have you been?

      • Sherm

        I have been on the road. Got back from Vegas this afternoon. Head to Colombia next week and then Houston…before our SoCal Trip. Then Costa Rica for ten days… so not much time at home between now and mid-June. I’ll do my best to keep up!

      • cap’n realist

        Eddie Von Navin Johnson

  • Doug S.

    Cards feed for me tonight.
    Guys seem ok.
    Business.

    • I’ve got Pat and Coomer on XM.

    • Doc Raker

      Jim Edmonds is pretty good

      • Seymour Butts

        Woof.