View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003



January 2012



GirlieView (01/26/2012)

Written by , Posted in General

We’ve got a few administrative details to tend to before we get going. First, someone asked about guidelines for how I pick the Lizzies. They are here, if you’re interested. Also just so you know the timing, I work a bit in advance. This post (published Thursday) considers most comments posted through Tuesday. Wednesday and onward will be in the group reviewed next time. Sometimes my cutoff is Monday, sometimes Wednesday. But rest assured, nothing gets skipped. 🙂

Next, I promised last time I’d keep track of everyone’s NFL divisional playoff picks. Ten people played, and no one got all four games correct. I, on the other hand, managed to get all four games INcorrect, the only person with such a distinction. Yay me! Buddy, Joe, and Rich Beckman each went 3/4. Doug S, gymjok, BLPCB, Kris, flyslinger2 and Jeremiah Johnson each picked 2 of the 4 games correctly. Thanks for playing!

Onto the Lizzies! We’ve got 65 of them this time around plus one big Lizard. Your productivity scares me a little bit, especially since it’s supposed to be the quiet, boring part of the year. By the time the season starts we’ll be cracking a hundred!


  • Barry (no, not that one) Heads to Cooperstown
  • Replacing Garza with Maholm is like replacing a Corvette with a Camry. Sure, they are both cars, both have 4 wheels, both begin with the letter “C”. However, a Camry is NOT a Corvette.
  • Wood in the bullpen at a reasonable price is money well spent.
  • I was hoping nobody else was elected yesterday as I wanted it to be solely a Santo fest in July.
  • Everyone knows we’re not competing this year, right??
  • My guess is Wood gets signed and they’re waiting for the convention so it can be announced there.
  • If those are our rotation options, I kind of want to cry.
  • Is Carlos Silva cheap this year?
  • I’m already seeing a number of upsides: 1) I don’t have to cringe everytime someone calls Zambrano our “Ace”.
  • Good luck with Koyie Hill, Cardinal fans!
  • The Cards are smart enough not use him as much as the Cubs did.
  • Cardinals luck – Watch Hill become a star
  • when the best you can say is “I was better than Juan Pierre and Jacque Jones” it’s probably best not to say anything.
  • Moral- teach your kids how to play middle infield in case they grow up to have no power.
  • Kerry Wood is smart , well centered and a class act.
  • My data to support my theory is based on the number of naps my lazy chocolate lab has snuck into this beautiful spring day here on the east coast.
  • I have a yellow lab that could go nap-for-nap with yours. One particularly slow day in my home office last year, I counted 17 naps for my big boy.
  • It is nice to see the Cubs keeping Wood. There is a rightness about that.
  • Love the fact that Bruce Miles gets a Lizzie despite having never commented or probably even read the site. I started the site and can’t even outscore him.
  • The Capns 2.0 LPC (Lizzie Per Comment) stat is pretty impressive. The Capn pulled in 2 Lizzies on one comment. Keep up that pace and the Capn can be epic. On the other hand Buddy made 7 Lizzies with 10,849 comments giving him a .00064522 LPC. So I ask you, who would you draft for your fantasy Lizzie team?
  • I’d draft Chris from IL.
  • Buddy drafting Chris from Il and Norm is like buying 1 stock with your nest egg. Your fantasy Lizzie team should have some diversity of thought for success.
  • 1 AWESOME stock!
  • I’m happy to announce that Mr. Kris and I are expecting Baby Numero Uno in late July!
  • Dude, you’ve got some big brass ones for admitting that you still listen to Boyz II Men.
  • That’s why the ladies love me.
  • in a realated story, Dr. Pepper and 12 different coffee companies want to sponsor Marlins baseball now…
  • I just picked up a slightly used Michael Barrett. Maybe we can put the two together and see what happens?
  • It was silly but I always liked ALF.
  • some of the other “upgrades” that will be included for 2012…$21 beers, the basket will be turned into a urinal so fans don’t have to leave their seats, and the first 10,000 fans on opening day will be given helmets to protect them from falling cement.
  • Best of luck to Mr. Cub John Grabow…big thanks for the memories and dominance on the mound.
  • What about Mark Prior? He seems to capture the modern Cubs better than anyone. So much promise, an impossibly short period of dominance, followed by utter disappointment and failure.
  • Just noticed you mentioned Manny Trillo, Jedi. I think that was the name of one of Buddy’s bands in college
  • Yes. The Manny Trillo Experience. We rocked.
  • By far the best game of the weekend was the down-to-the-wire shootout between the Saints and the 49ers.
  • Interestingly they had only 2 regular starting pitchers that ’83 year. One threw 473 innings and the other 383. Today’s lads must don women’s underwear.
  • Apparently he knows a trick or two about keeping the old ticker going for 150 years.
  • Lizzie will be happy to know that Geo will be back, signing for 4.3 million dollars.
  • People will actually have to be baseball fans to truly appreciate this season.  They will actually have to see what is going on beneath the top layer to enjoy 2012.
  • The owners (and the neighborhood) will just have to enjoy the Red Roof Inn for a while as they wait for their dream home of the future.
  • If there’s one thing I hate, it’s meaningless sucking.
  • I love it that I can read about the Cubs, Roseanne Barr and eating paint all in one place.
  • I’ve got to say, “It’s B.S.” doesn’t make for a very compelling acceptance speech.
  • Albuquerque Isotopes has always been a favorite as well as the Blue Claws with their marketing tee shirts, ‘Got Crabs’.
  • The shocking thing about the Rob Lowe thing is that anyone even found out about his tweet. That must mean people actually follow Rob Lowe on Twitter…
  • Bud Selig, fresh off his most recent “I’m going to retire” contract extension saga, will be in charge of sorting out the requisite compensation.
  • I say give them Soriano for free
  • And while he is there, he strips the Red Sox team and gives them our junk
  • Seymour…Seymour…
  • By the time the Super Bowl rolls around there’s a distinct “just play the game already” attitude due to the overwhelming two weeks of analysis. But this week, we get two great games that could easily go either way.
  • Cubs were still in the denial phase and it wouldnt have been a real crowd pleaser to put a nobody in there.
  • Just play a recording of Harry (before the stroke) and call it good.
  • I’m fine with the anthem as long as it’s done relatively straight up. “Artists” who attempt to personalize it too much can be annoying.
  • I wonder if the editor regrets his knee-jerk resignation now?
  • The Giants and Patriots have the same colors, as such, the NFL only needs one set of confetti for the game.
  • If there are aging cardiologists and optometrists that are better for their age in the country, I’d like to see them play.
  • Cap’n Obvious, trying to overcome nearly 175 years of blatant discrimination against lefties by playing a nearly error-free game at shortstop, which, incidentally, was integral to Raker’s mound performance.
  • Seymour explaining to me that he refers to Doc Raker here on VFTB as just “Raker” because, “he’s not a real doctor.”
  • Stay classy Nick.
  • Obvious also spent the entire weekend, in an effort to fit in with other under-achieving superstars of his generation, referencing himself in the 3rd person.
  • The Captain does have game however, and was not nearly as inept as the more or less constant dugout banter would have one believe.
  • I still think Doc and crew should get a guest post each year to run through their weekend triumphs.
  • At some point, there will be some youtube video of some of the events, I’m told. It will likely not be PG rated.
  • He replies, “Doc”, because Obvious understands MD’s aren’t the only doctors in the world
  • I don’t think I go the distance on a grilled turkey and cheese sandwich.


  • Jeremiah, this was a no brainer for me. Best thing I’ve read since Sherm’s Singalong. It really is fantastic and if anyone missed it, it’s well worth the read: The Carlos Zambrano Owner’s Manual

2012 Overall Standings (1 point for each Lizzie, 3 points for the Lizard)

  • Buddy – 12
  • cap’n Obvious – 11
  • Doc Raker – 10
  • jswanson – 10
  • Jeremiah Johnson – 9
  • Seymour Butts – 8
  • Chuck – 5
  • Jedi Johnson – 5
  • Kris – 5
  • BLPCB – 4
  • Doug S. – 3
  • Dustin Godsey – 3
  • Chet – 3
  • chris in illinois – 2
  • JoeAiello – 2
  • Norm – 2
  • Thirteen others have 1 apiece.

Shout Outs

Congrats to the following folks who got their first 2012 Lizzie this week!

  • Chet
  • flyslinger2
  • gymjok
  • JoeAiello
  • Katie
  • Lee
  • Mark P.
  • Norm
  • Rich Beckman

Lizzie’s Kitchen

This will be the last GirlieView before the Super Bowl, so here are a few more crowd pleasers of the salty and sweet variety.


Chit Chat

So, here goes! Make your Super Bowl pick. Pick the winning team and also just for the heck of it (and so I can determine a winner) give us a total score (add together for both teams). As usual I’ll keep track and report back!


    Did you get these recipes from Homer Simpson? All of these sound like things to get a heart attack at age 40! Not what I need after 2 weeks of traveling, and another week of not having any groceries in my apartment.

    I finally got heart-healthy food for my apartment, and the weight from the junk I ate is starting to peel off. Lots of fruit, cereal, milk, chicken, and pasta. Eating at least 1 orange and grapefruit every day.

    My prediction for the game is Giants 21, Patriots 17, with Eli Manning throwing the winning touchdown pass to Ohio State alum Jake Ballard



  • chuck

    I predict that I will be at a batting cage with my kids during the Superbowl. I have a hard time coming up with two teams I could care less about.

  • Doc Raker

    Buddy increased his LPC to .000738, still a ways to go to respectability.

  • Jedi

    Who wants to set the over/under on how many times Raker uses that same joke to try and boost his total?


    Doc – How do you calculate it? My head hurts trying to understand the calculations, can you put it in English for me?

  • Jeremiah Johnson

    Thanks Lizzie. Glad you liked it.


    I wonder, who will have a worse season in 2012: The Cubs or White Sox? Can both teams crack 100 loses?

  • Buddy

    You have to give Doc an A for effort. Maybe more like a B-. As far as the Super Bowl goes, I’ll say Patriots 27, Giants 20, for a total of 47, if my limited math skills are working properly.

  • Buddy

    Neither Chicago baseball team will lose 100 games this year.

  • cap’n obvious

    I’ll take the Patriots…call it 24-13. I’m just happy to be in the top 10. My LPC is high, but I have written a couple of lengthy comments this week. Props to Lizzie for being impartial and handing them out to me, knowing that I think Geo Soto is a stiff.


    Who will have the worse season? I’m thinking White Sox because they lost Buerhle, and the Tigers signed Fielder, while the NL Central lost Fielder and Pujols, and Braun for 1/3rd of the season

  • Buddy

    What, you don’t believe that Braun is innocent? I’m shocked. Shocked I tell you!


    Are you a closet White Sox fan?

  • Buddy

    And if I was Mr. Garrison, do you think I would be here today, talking to somebody like you?


    2 years ago today, the White Sox killed their 2010 season when they didn’t bring back Thome, and he signed with the Twins.

  • Lizzie

    Geo Soto is a stiff

    I could take this in so many different directions if I wasn’t such a good girlie.

  • Oh, Lizzie. Reread that…

  • Buddy

    Careful. This is a family show!

  • Sounds to me that you’ve already taken it in many different directions.

    This is the first time I’ve gotten a Lizzie without being able to recognize my own comment. I have no idea what in the list above was posted by me.

  • Doc Raker

    Geo is A stiff. Not to be confused with, Geo has a stiffy.
    * I think LPC is true indicator of a commentor. LPC is a percentage of Lizzies divided by comments, verse just counting volume.

  • MJ

    The only thing I care about with the Superbowl, is if I get scheduled behind the bar. $$$$$$$$

  • chuck

    The only reason why the Cubs may not lose 100 games is that they are in a pretty weak division. The Astros stink, the Pirates are still the pirates until they do something and the Cards are a house of cards this year. The Reds and Brewers are teh only legit tems in the division and the Brewers just got a whole lot worse.
    The White Sox have all sorts of problems. The Tigers are really good. The Indians and Royals are up-and-comers (only one will be good, it is the nature of up-and-comers) with the Twins as the only other bad team in the division. Then you have to take into account the fact that the AL has a lot more powerhouse teams.

  • Mark P.

    I’ll take Patriots…35-31

  • Lizzie

    @Rich Beckman it was this:

    It is nice to see the Cubs keeping Wood. There is a rightness about that.

  • Lizzie

    @MJ I was just talking to someone about my bartending days (of course this was 20+ years ago but keep that under your hat) and how I made more tending bar two nights a week than I made when I got my first 40-hour-per-week “real” job. And that even includes the $ value of a healthy benefit package. So I hope you get scheduled too!

  • gymjok

    Woo-hoo! I’m no longer a Lizzies virgin!

  • @Liz…same exact experience. I still feel half sick whenever I see the taxes withheld sections on my pay stub…

  • gymjok

    Pats 31-27

  • flyslinger2

    I will now be able to rest at night knowing that I have been Lizzied.
    Pats over Giants 31 to 17.

  • CubbieDude

    Puppy Bowl prediction: The Golden runs away with it.


    Since leaving Jan. 3, I have come up with a name for my GPS: Stupid Flanders. The Lizzard from this post inspired me to write a manual on dealing with Stupid Flanders. I think my stupid Flanders wakes and bakes and is puffing too many referinos