View From The Bleachers

Talking Cubs Baseball Since 2003



January 2012



GirlieView (01/12/2012)

Written by , Posted in General

Well, I’m back. I just couldn’t stay away any longer. I want to thank Rachel Wisinski for keeping the GirlieView tradition going for the whole second half of 2011 while I pursued my bucket list. I’ve done some fun stuff and I’m not near finished but I’ll admit it, I missed you guys. Please give props to Rachel for a job well done!

I’m honored to alternate Thursdays with Jedi Johnson’s Northside Archives. Between the two of us we hope you’ll find something to make your Thursday afternoons interesting!

While a few of you may be happy to see me, I’m sure there are also some groans in the crowd right now. Why? Because when Rachel picked her Wizzies, she (rightly) rewarded actual baseball knowledge, coherent quotes, thoughtful contributions. Me? I’m more for humor and snark. And people who agree with me. Or disagree politely. You’ll catch on very quickly, I’m sure. Meanwhile, here’s the inaugural batch of 2012 Lizzies! Enjoy!!


  • Is it me?
  • Quick note on Disney etiquette…Do not refer to a crazy person as “f*cking goofy”. That has an entirely different meaning there. (Bleeps courtesy of Lizzie.)
  • Might this be the beginning of the end for Manning and the Colts?
  • And Sam Hurd…what pro franchise doesn’t have a felon or 2 on their roster.
  • More times than not, many more times, the rumors are not true.
  • I have often harped about the poor status of most local Chicago baseball writers. Bruce Miles is one of the exceptions
  • Nice interview Norm. I still think our VFTB staffers put out better quality than most of the beat guys on the team-level.
  • Just like when Rex Ryan told a radio show host that he’d take Mark Sanchez over Peyton Manning. What else is he going to say to the media? “My guy sucks and I wish we had somebody else.” Not likely.
  • The annual change from Jets everyday cap and phone wallpaper to Cubs happened Monday. Wonder when the change back will be in 2012?
  • Work out more and eat/drink less (dare to dream)
  • Eat/drink more and work out less (I’ve changed my mind!)
  • (“Good morning, Mr. Smith. I really hustled to finish that report you wanted. With a little grit and moxie, I think my clutch recommendations will improve our office chemistry!”)
  • Dale Svowell
  • I can’t wait for him to quit on Ozzie. He might be tougher to quit than D-Lee, Q, Michael Barrett’s face, and the Gatorade cooler were.
  • Ozzie vs. Zambrano would be fun to watch. However, I don’t know who I would root for. Maybe the ref?
  • If Johnson were to ever move closer to the plate he’d be standing on it.
  • Seymour is dining with his Ron Santo bobble head jswanson.
  • To the surprise of almost no one, Big Z will be joining Ozzie Guillen and his band of merry malcontents in Miami.
  • LaFirstbaseman
  • With Z gone, I’m hoping Rich Hill can finally get his chance to earn a rotation spot…
  • The part of me that is a little baffled by the trade terms for Zambrano is entirely over-ruled by the part of me that is cheering loudly that we’re done with Z’s antics!
  • I don’t think getting amped up for this team will be an issue this year. As currently composed, they stink on ice.
  • As bad as the Cubs could be, there are still the Astros, Pirates and Mets.
  • I’d put good money on the Pirates being better than the Cubs this year.
  • And thankfully we won’t have to have a 2012 Pena debate it would seem! Everyone wins.
  • Stories like this make me glad that I have been married for a long time. I don’t think I can even begin to remember how to date anymore.
  • these athletes need bedroom cameras, release forms, and a chaperon in modern times. I suppose a moral compass might help, but that’s not likely either (sad).
  • I’d eagerly swap places with Cubs’s shortstop Alex Gonzalez right around the time Moises Alou was throwing a fit in foul territory in Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS, and I’d make darn sure I didn’t mishandle the routine double-play ball that was about to come my way (you know, the one that’s really to blame for the Marlins’ rally that night).
  • if Alou doesn’t act like a 4 year old after the play, all is probably forgotten.
  • It also looks like we have enough pitchers to avoid a rotation with Doug Davis
  • I think LaHair will be at best Babe Ruth and at worst Buddy.
  • I think the Marlins have a very good chance of being an expensive (and high-profile) train wreck.
  • A wise man once said, “Even the worst pizza I ever had was pretty good.”
  • It’s hard to talk about him in real life and say things like “Colvin was traded because we have Brett Jackson, and also this Matt Scissors guy who could be good..”
  • Had to turn it down due to the excessive number of egomanaical fruit bat, cabbage eating cardio-thoracic surgeons in that area.
  • You should all enjoy the updates in a couple weeks after Butts, (ahem)Raker, myself, and a few other jagoffs exit cyber-baseball for a weekend and actually run around on grass for a weekend in Phoenix.


Standings (1 point for each Lizzie, 3 points for the Lizard)

  • Buddy – 7
  • jswanson – 7
  • Seymour Butts – 4
  • cap’n Obvious – 2
  • Chuck – 2
  • Doc Raker – 2
  • Dustin Godsey – 2
  • Jeremiah Johnson – 2
  • Eleven Others have 1 point each

Shout Outs

Congrats to the following folks who got their very first 2012 Lizzie this week (duh, everyone, since this is the first week. But it won’t be everyone in weeks to come!)

  • Bruce Miles
  • Buddy
  • cap’n Obvious
  • chris in illinois
  • Chuck
  • Danny B
  • Doc Raker
  • Doug S.
  • Dustin Godsey
  • Jedi Johnson
  • Jeremiah Johnson
  • Jeremy The Kid Johnson
  • john
  • jswanson
  • Kris
  • MJ
  • Noah
  • randy
  • Seymour Butts

Lizzie’s Kitchen

I’m sure the George Winston and David Lanz piano music on my iPod will excite no one. Likewise for what’s on my Kindle. But everyone eats, so here’s a look into my kitchen. For the next few weeks we’ll go with SuperBowl-type food. This feeds a huge crowd with a side bonus of keeping Seymour in business. Enjoy!

Chit Chat

Since we’re on the topic of football, there are four games on tap this weekend for your NFL enjoyment. Pick your winners! I’ll keep track and report back.

  • New Orleans @ San Francisco
  • Denver @ New England
  • Houston @ Baltimore
  • New York (Giants) @ Green Bay


  • Doug S.

    Pretty sure the Jets Cubs post was me, but no Lizzie love.

    Straight up NFL pix? Should be a Brees this week.

    Though if one team could upset I’d call Giants

  • New Orleans

    New England


    Green Bay

    I will be rooting for San Francisco, Denver, and Houston but my experience is that my support does not affect outcomes.

  • Jedi

    You’re going to have to carry Thursdays, Lizzie.

    Raker seems to be the biggest loser in the new VFTBCS standings; he’s not getting the love from the computer polls that he’s grown so accustomed to.

    I feel as though it’s unwise to pick against Tebow at this point. Plus that Pats haven’t won a playoff game since the David Tyree incident.

  • Lizzie

    Doug S. you are so right. I skipped you and Dustin in my alphabetical listing. I’m so sorry. I’ve corrected it!

  • Lizzie

    @Jedi, Doc knows he need not worry. We share the same snark gene. He’ll be just fine in the standings.
    @Rich, good point (and good to see you). I should have asked it differently. Who do you WANT to win vs. who WILL win. Always seems to be very different in my world too. I’m going with:
    New Orleans
    Green Bay
    That’s a combination of “want” and “will”. I expect to end up about 2/4.

  • Joe

    Love the fact that Bruce Miles gets a Lizzie despite having never commented or probably even read the site. I started the site and can’t even outscore him.

  • Joe

    suppose I should make my picks:


  • Lizzie

    You should agree with me more. Heh heh. Just teasing you. Bruce just happened to write more than you this time around. Damn. I just can’t stop! 😉 xxoo Joe.

  • Jedi

    Lizzie, on a scale of 1-10 (10 being “it’s the best picture of me ever” – 1 being “it’s the rendering of a blind man who I once wronged”) where would you place your avatar?

    • Jedi, Lizzie routinely pleads the 5th on that one. Only her and I know the answer to that question.

  • chuck

    I always found Rachel a tough nut to crack. She and I were never on the same wavelength. I think Lizzie and I have the same affinity for snide comments.

  • Buddy

    I’ll take New Orleans, New England, Baltimore and the NY Giants.

  • gymjok


  • gymjok

    bonus-den/pats over 50 1/2

  • Seymour Butts

    No dis to Rachel, but the Whizzies were not the Lizzies, welcome back.
    We will just believe that her gravitar is a very pale comparison. Me, myself? a 600 lb guy in his underwear, eating cheetos while typing.

  • Lizzie

    Well, I can say with certainty that my mouth isn’t quite that triangular!

  • Doc Raker

    Welcome back Lizzie and thank you Rachel for all the Wizzies. The Capns 2.0 LPC (Lizzie Per Comment) stat is pretty impressive. The Capn pulled in 2 Lizzies on one comment. Keep up that pace and the Capn can be epic. On the other hand Buddy made 7 Lizzies with 10,849 comments giving him a .00064522 LPC. So I ask you, who would you draft for your fantasy Lizzie team?

  • Buddy

    I’d draft Chris from IL.


    Lizzie – what sort of things were u doing on your bucket list? I have crossed some stuff off my bucket list on this trip down, but I have added to my list as well. I’m sure the drive home will be the same.
    Playoff picks what I think:
    What I want:
    I’m 30 miles from Atlanta right now. Tomorrow will be visiting Auburn, Warm Springs, and Athens. I’ve driven 2500 miles so far, and I just made 400 miles on one tank of gas for the first time.

  • Buddy

    Say hello to Chipper Jones for me.

  • CubbieDude

    BLPCB: If you want to establish a new personal best in miles per gallon, cruise the Natchez Trace sometime.

  • Doc Raker

    Buddy drafting Chris from Il and Norm is like buying 1 stock with your nest egg. Your fantasy Lizzie team should have some diversity of thought for success.*
    *Source- Lizzie Fantasy Comment Team web page.

  • Norm

    1 AWESOME stock!


    I don’t think I will see Larry, but when I am in Miami, I will be sure to tell Ozzie and Bozo: voy a vomitar en la tomba de su madre.

  • Lizzie

    B-CAPS we’ve got a bucket list “go” column coming up sometime soon so I’ll tell you then. And you can tell us yours too!

  • Kris

    I don’t actually care that much about the football season anymore, but here are my picks (or what I’d like to see):

    San Francisco
    Denver (I’m neutral about Tebow, but him beating Brady would make me giggle)
    New York (Giants) (rooting for anyone to beat Packers)

    Completely unrelated exciting news (and in the theme for this week), I’m happy to announce that Mr. Kris and I are expecting Baby Numero Uno in late July! Not ready to tell everyone at work, but I thought maybe my fellow VFTBers would be a good audience. Poor kid already has a Cubs oneside, socks, hat, bib and burp cloth that Mr. Kris bought him/her for Christmas. 🙂

  • Fairly certain my daughter’s pink New Era cap showed up before the crib…we really are a sick bunch of weirdos. Congrats Kris!

  • Lizzie

    Wowowowowow!!!! Twins for Mr. and Mrs. MJ in May, a cousin courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. Kris in July, what busy little bees you’ve been!!! For your sake I kind of hope this isn’t “the year” because the whole bunch of you will be too busy to see it!!! Heh heh heh. Just kidding, this is wonderful news. You too, MJ, I believe I forgot to say so the other day.

  • Seymour Butts

    @B-CAPS.. What are you driving? This trip seems like it’s taking years. I could have walked to Orlando by now from the west coast.
    @Kris Congrats, Buy the kid some Packer stock while it’s still available.

  • flyslinger2

    This is one heck of a fertile blog.
    NFL Pix:
    Wizzies/Lizzies/et al
    I get a charge when I mysteriously appear on this most notable of lists (It’s better then being on Mrs. Fly’s grocery list-trust me!) I personally get more satisfaction from the notoriety being on the Lizzies then the many times I have been submitted for but humbly turn down consideration for the Noble peace prize.
    Our family thrives on snarky humor and raw orneriness. I think that should be the fundamental guiding principle for selection to the list!

  • Lizzie

    Orneriness is offputting to me. And for me it often trumps some of the (otherwise) best humor and conversation.

  • Kris

    I think flyslinger just ensured himself another week on the Lizzies with the “fertile blog” comment.

    Lizzie–maybe you can set-up guidelines for us. It can be a fine line between snarky and ornery. 🙂

  • Lizzie

    That’s a good idea Kris. I posted some guidelines a year or two ago and they still hold. I’ll dig ’em up for next time! And you are absolutely right. In fact they probably do mean the same thing. I probably shouldn’t even use “snarky” because that implies something harsher than I usually reward. I should say that I like humor that doesn’t insult. Of course that has absolutely nothing to do with what anyone posts here. Y’all can be as nasty and mean as you want, LOL. I’m just talking about my (very subjective) Lizzies.

  • Jeremiah Johnson

    Lizzie, I think you and I have very different definitions of what constitutes “orneriness.” I’ve always understood it to be kind of playful mischievousness–making it prime material for the Lizzies–but it sounds like you’d see it as more sinister than that. The sooner you post your guidelines, the sooner the rest of us can start aiming for the sweet spot.

    I’m picking New Orleans, New England, Baltimore, and (while it pains me) Green Bay.

  • Lizzie

    @Jeremiah You’re right, when I think of “ornery” I think of “mean”. But you hit the nail on the head, playful mischievousness is EXACTLY what I like. Here’s the link to the previously posted guidelines. I’ll include it again in the next GirlieView.

  • I still think the whole riff about Johnson playing hard was the funniest bit of mischief I’ve seen in a while.


    Seymour – I am driving a 2000 Honda Accord that got a major tuneup before I left, including a new battery and new tires. It is taking forever bc I am taking a trip on the way down spending a few days in each city. If I drive straight, I’d be there in 3 days

  • Lizzie

    @jswanson And see, sometimes things fly RIGHT over my head and I miss them entirely. Even though I get it now! Duh!

  • CubbieDude

    Congratulations to all the Mamas and Papas (past, present & future).


    Is the Cubs suckiness the reason for this VFTB baby boom?

  • Buddy

    Congratulations to Crosby, Stills, & Nash as well.

  • CubbieDude

    And welcome to the new kids on the block.